I--mag--i nation--disposes of everything; it creates beauty,justice, and happiness,which is everything in this world (Pascal)

Most of my day is spent alone except when someone decides that I should have someone with me--the only thing I have every day is pain--trying to come up with some meds that will let me function--without aches and pains--I must have made my body pretty damn sore for what I'm paying now--knees--hips and general lack of enthusiasm--is a hard way to have to deal with daily life--plus staying home limits any connections that may cause problems--Teeth--breath, hearing and seeing are steadily going to the dogs--my glasses always seem to be sliding down my nose or moving some way I can only see by refocusing my glasses--I hate to have to go and have my eyes checked--it's so far and it takes a while to get the glasses--if I don't do it soon though I want be able to read at all--my daughter has gone to get groceries--and to bring a pizza--back for us her daughter and me to eat--it's been a while--she said she was going to stop and get gas----she just called and said she forgot to get the gas and will be back 15:00 minutes later-- so she could go get the gas--her timing is always off--she can't tell you a time that she'll be anywhere and be there--she still smokes--almost as bad as a smoke stack at a never closing plant...


Wisdom of a serpent and simplicity of a child...

Bride's Cup
Ye Bryde whose lippes kysse myne
And taste ye water an no wyne
Shall live an herself see
A happy grandchile on each knee...These lines were surrounded with a wreath ans surmounted by a knight's Head, visor down, and the motto:  " Semper Fidelis. "


Imagine

Imagine, that you could
Where, would you be, If you would
Or had it done, the way you should
Now think of all that good,
That you stood for, when you stood
And see what you would
If, at last, you took off your hood
Or imagined that you could....

" ' Those whom thou spak'st of are no visionaries.'
   Rejoined that voice, 'they are no dreamers weak.......
                                          thou art a dreaming thing,
   A fever of thyself; think on the earth;
       What bliss, even in hope, is there for thee.......
    Only the dreamer venoms all his days,
     Bearing more woe than all his sins deserve. ' "(Fall of Hyperion)---Keats

I usually walk around my house barefooted--and lately I been having to turn on the lights so I can figure out what that big thing is on the floor hoping that it isn't a scorpion--the cave spider can get quite big and a lot of cave crickets are coming up from the basement--looking for food and nourishment--cause the basement must have run out--In the basement is where I keep the hardwood ashes--the fireplace has a dump in the back where you can let the ashes drop into the basement--I use it all the time and don't always use all the ashes--so I always have plenty for the garden and plants..I use it also to keeps slugs and snips from crawling all over my house plants and garden vegetables

.....the beauty, the wonder , the humor, the tragedy, the greatness of truth....
                                               
Of course all who hurt people with their words hurt through thoughtlessness

Visitors--sounds foreign--I live believe me I do live in a strange place--an island in the promised land--secluded from people, sounds, harsh noises, Jimmy Buffet--I can't explain how I got so lucky --at this time I have tears in my eyes --I never in a million years thought I would be alone--without
a person I only learned to appreciate when she was gone-- a person whose heart was good as gold --HER thoughts bang from every vacant space, her smells, hurt to the point visions that can never be again--I know death took her away from pain of being something she never could stand -a person dependent--I've always been selfish where my time with her was interrupted-- time with her ended--the ways and the means of it--but hey I was in love--and to a great degree still am--missing her greatly--not all the things she did for me--just her being around able to talk when we did--she was a bigger person than I could or would of wanted to be...

The purpose of this writing is to say something that I feel must be said--and I hope it's said with simplicity--the expression about not only a women but an individual who was dear to me--and even in the middle of sleep --still effects me--the not being able to touch, or smell, to hear her voice, to share a ride into town, a diary queen, --or hell just an afternoon ride--oh god--the things one wishes--the time calls for simple statements and restatements of simple feelings What I'm trying to say includes warnings--if you love someone--tell them every day or hell--

our problems are a problem as old as man and women decay--the slow progression of getting from one point to the next.. from a handful of words beginning with  "I do" --at first those words --are full --faith --love--smiles--all good things not worn down by time and selfish feelings of not being as important as I wanted to feel --I do not know how to impress these things on someone --to make them aware--time passes--Is honesty still in vogue?  the thoughts I want to convey for expression from head and heart--the honesty I'm trying ton speak--is it touchingly worth while--I'm one voice coming to you from "God Knows" a heartfelt painfulness a communion of spirit--a fireside chat --where being relaxed one person reaches --a point where what he reveals --is simply--what at last has to be touched on--where reaching his heart--he can't hold it in any longer--the fireside , the warmth of the camaraderie--at a fireside chat many things come out that would never have seen the light of reasonableness--Persons willing to let go are sire to be understood--The plain simple--through reveals to the other--that friendships reached through plain speaking is the only one worth having --My wife and I had that--and more--confession time--since May 7th 2013 I have been living in a daze--like I've been under immense pressure with a stone press over my heart--troubling under the questions of brutal honesty-and what if anything is wonderful anymore- these questions are not whether it's worth while to myself but for the answers--they are one sided of course--and prejudiced but hey--I'm here --look at night-- I don't reach conclusion only--more questions--fusing at everything imaginable --the why, the wherefore, and what the hell have you--thinking, thinking, how to break back thru the years--of our togetherness--what I guess I want to say is love the one you're with--it's never to late to say--those corny things--that seems so simple that they make you feel vulnerable--get out while the approach to them is possible--cause heartache--is a lonely road to hoe--and all the simple things you say to the one loved--take root in kindness and believe it does grow --thank you

" How calm and quiet a delight
  is it, alone,
To read and meditate and write,
  By none offended, and offending none!
To walk ,ride sit or sleep at one's own ease;
     And, pleasing a man 's self, none other to displease. "--Charles Cotton, a friend of Izaak Walton

If our government turns out to be as bad as everyone thinks then the Americans will bail us out..They always have, and they always will…

You can never go wrong--when you follow nature…

We are immersed in beauty, but our eyes have no lear vision…Emerson

Many times hope has triumphed over the warning of personal experience...

  

The Daily Dump--No personal consideration should stand in the way of performing a public dump-- Ulysses S. Corkster

March 11, 2014--unbelievable--10 week of this year--almost

What a different world this would be if people would only magnify their blessings the way they do their troubles….living and writing in heat--

Yes, I feel quite certain there is to be a Heaven and a Hell because I've seen signs of both on this earth…

Life is response to the order of Nature--W.K. Brooks

Wishes--" we had always dwelled together, beneath a tropical sun, in the valley of the Many-Colored Grass. No unguided footstep ever came upon that vale; for it lay far away up among a range of giant hills that hung beetling around about it, shutting out the sunlight from its sweetest recesses. No path was trodden in its vicinity; and, to reach our happy home, there was need of putting back, with force, the foliage of many thousands of forest trees, and of crushing to death the glories of many millions of fragrant flowers. Thus it was that we lived all alone, knowing nothing of the world without the valley " "Eleonora"…Edgar allen Poe

March--(Awakenings)
1.) The tops of trees are hazy pink with swollen buds..
2.) Robins and Bluebirds and Cardinals sometimes as early as this date are already around about
3.) If warm, more robins, perhaps small flocks eating the Berries off the American holly outside my bedroom window. Bluebottle flies appear in sunny places. Midges appear and dance over melting snow…
4.) English Sparrows commence to build..peepers are heard as early as this date on rare occasions..
5.) Snow sometimes halts the awakening of things or occasional cold freezing..
6.) A Red-backed Salamander may be found as early as this date..
7.) Crocus two inches high…
8.) Jonquils with big buds..and colorful flowers…Hemiptera(bugs) appear in protected places…
9.) Insects start moving around and become more prominent…
10.) Red-winged Blackbirds appear in their usual haunts, only males being seen at first…Vanessa antiopa, the Mourning-cloak Butterfly, appears at noon if the day is warm…
11.) Water striders come out of the mud.. Grapta comma Butterfly appears…
12.) Rhubarb well up…Downy Woodpeckers drilling holes in my front yard Sugar Maple drilling for future nests..Red-Backed Salamanders with well-formed eggs..
13.) Stickleback (two-spined) courting in coves of pond…
14.) Newts gathering in my pond…Small ant colonies with first batches of spring eggs..                        
15.)  Spiders moving around in and outside house on warm days…
          Noticed first blooms on Mahonia haven't seen many insect activity on blooms yet outside my
           window but I just noticed the blooms and they must be 2 and 1/2 to 3 inches long--                                
            ***observation is important at this time of year
July 23

I f  you want a thing done, go
               if not send...   (Benjamin Franklin)

Not once or twice in our
      rough island story,
The path of dumping was the way
      to glory  ( Corkster--the Charge of the ugly mind)

July 24--2013

God defend me from myself----Montaigne

It is so hard to conquer when the prestige of former victories is all against one. It is so hard for the cock who has once been beaten out of his yard to resume his courage and again take a proud place upon a dunghill......

He knew that he was acting the recognized principles of his life, against those laws of conduct by which he hoped to achieve much higher success. But as we have said, he could not help himself. Passion, for the first time in his life, passion was too strong for him....

And what will make you happy-- Is it a search in which every human being spends an existence....

"Most of the Nature books tire me. They are sensational, or written to meet a supposed want. Our popular periodical publications and Sunday papers seem trying to compete with the moving pictures shows, or to give their readers something that will make as little demand upon their thinking powers as do the movies. The movies are the pest of our times...They are a part of our hurry and shallowness. Look back in our periodicals 10 years ago and see how much more solid matter there is in them than at present...The monthly magazine vies with the weekly for the ephemera of the hour and the weekly vies with the daily paper--so little is there in any of them that a reflective man can sit by his own fireside and read."  John Burroughs

Ideas and inspirations must be examined on the strength of the results to which they lead...

"Cumulative power" while truth is with you--oh--B-- won-- Ka--no--be...inner strength develops and outward prosperity in every "living " gesture consequently follows--only when a human being looses "truth" will inner strength wither and outward prosperity declines.. the opposite to truth is a lie masquerading as an "untruth." Anyone developing on this path --life begins a " cumulative wither"(adds up) it's the start of the 'Negative Way".. There is so much force in this that it can only relate in itself being true...

      Corkster wonders(one of many of his wonders) Who were the people that when I was young and impressionable taught me the wrong things--why did I let them --how did they do it--and why did it happen to me at that particular time--was I bored to death or what cussing for instance...

To him that has truth it's always a given--everything going in or out is abundance--but from him that has untruth everything going in or out is receiving nothing or giving nothing,,, When the ideas of truth and lies (untruths) are analysed they are much in accord with where lives begin to unravel ---the truth is man's spirit-- this comes upon man to make him "self-confident" to do what needs to be done--what leads "life"--it inspires understanding and wisdom--your get up and go--your "valor"

   Valor--The mean of true valor lies between the extremes of cowardice and rashness...Cervantes
receives it's strength from "Truth" ........

life is not meant to be so difficult

I'm sick of problems--I'm tired of hearing about problems--Problems --what are they--somebody screwed up --we've been dumped on--somebody at one time or another--got away with something-- you get away from simplicity--and of course will slowly decline--come on people--drink more water..


Life doesn't need your help in killing you--it can do it all by itself one step at a time...it's waiting

    We begin to die as soon as we are born, and the end is " linked " to the beginning---Manilius

7--25--2013   Sighs are the natural language of the heart

A goal is something you intend to accomplish---
A value is something you believe in...

Surely there comes a time when counting the cost and paying the price aren't things to think about anymore.. All that matters is value --the ultimate value of what one does...James Hilton

A good lesson cannot be taught if the teaching is accompanied with any emotion or feeling that is not good...Good can be conveyed only truthfully, and truth teaches no one a lesson with intent to make it bitter...

As I work with natural laws, I find that when I obey them they always work for my good...

People may be divided into four classes; 1) Those that know  and know that they know; 2) those that do not know and think that they know; 3) those that do not know and know that  they do not know and  are afraid to admit it; 4) those that do not know and freely admit it....

Rotation is motion around an axis within the body...
Revolution is motion around a center usually outside the body...

he western scientific achievement, great though it is, has not concerned itself enough with the creation of better human beings, nor with self-discipline...It has concentrated instead upon things, and assumed that the good life would follow. Therefore it hungers for infinity. Outward in that infinity lies the Garden the sixteenth-century voyagers did not find. We no longer call it the garden. We are sophisticated men. We call it, vaguely , "progress" because that word in itself implies the endless movement of pursuit. We have abandoned the past without realizing that without the past the pursued future has no meaning, that it leads, as Morris has anticipated, to the world of artless, dehumanized man...Loren Eisely

Men increasingly are the victims of what they themselves have created...

July 26--2013---****Friday**** Solitude: A good place to visit but a poor place to stay--sounds like New York

But we always see her as she seems, never as she is....

Fact is unstable by it's very nature....

After college--I became  "tired-listless " from not being able to make satisfying contact with others through my imagination like I was on some hideous diet of inter glow--when you can share without holding anything back--letting your hair down--then it becomes so quickly dog eat dog--seriousness sweat equity time--points to prove--primitive or corrupt--responsibilities of life--cuts the quick whether you're enjoying your life or have no idea what is happening here--like why not turn back to some primordial knowledge type of thing--is there some secret here that remains in the " to be continued " of the universe...

As I deal with natural laws, I find that when I obey them they always work for my benefit

Remembering pure substance  "even " in the case of humans...

And although a physicist may temporarily " forget a law or two " nature does not and like a master storyteller, she always remembers where every character belongs... This miracle is the very reason that inspired Fredkin to assert that the universe functions as if it were  " a giant computer " .All too often we do not give nature its awesome due, that the regularity of our lives is indeed in the benevolent hands of an incredible ministry of different equations...
 The creative principle responsible for this fact does not matter, for the amount of organization inherent in this flawless drama is mind boggling...
  No scientist working today can deny that aesthetics, something that is purely a product of the inward reality of our consciousness, also provides us with the ways for the discovering the workings of the outward reality of the universe...Michael Talbot *(Beyond The Quantum)

July 27 2013---Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

Men Hunt foxes by the aid of dogs, and are aware that they do so by the strong organ of smell with which the dog is endowed...

The organ by which women instinctively as it were, know and feel how other women are regarded by man, and how also men are regarded by other women , is equally strong, and equally incomprehensible...


July 28       (  to be continued  )


July 29     No two men can be half an hour together but one shall acquire an evident superiority over the other.......Samuel Johnson

(9/12/2013)  On one of my sites it says History behind Obama's speech--the only history behind any politicians speech is whatever makes the boat float--their way--or whatever way makes them look better for their next successful attempt at trying to stay in favor--so they can get more yeses from the congress or people--

I woke up this morning thinking it was one time and yet it was another and I was several hours off way behind considering it wasn't important anyway--except I had taken a cold remedy pill and I overslept--and on waking I was disoriented--couldn't quite figure on what I wanted to do--so naturally went to the coffee maker--checked on my dogs--made the morning rounds which means wandered around the house for five or ten minutes--I've had this horrible coughing spell--for about a week now--not wanting to go to the doctor--not wanting to see anybody--I've been bearing with it--coughing anytime I stress myself--or at the least little exertion--I start this hacking I can't quit--at night I wake up coughing my head off so hard I think I'll never stop--drinking some ice cold water and it calms down some unless I'm hot--not worried just wondering how long this will last--don't smoke, don't chew, and only have a bunch of old books laying around--started thinking I had something from the mold on the books but I keep them wiped clean from whatever gets on them that's all I 've been doing that's different--also I have a dehumidifier in the room with my books...nothing seems to be loose in my chest--only small amounts of mucus--so I'm still wondering about where this came from--do have grand children--and have caught things from them before but seldom exposed to them now but they did stay around me for several days before I came down with this whatever---my coming and going is seldom--I don't like leaving the house--so the only reason I would leave would be for groceries and that's it--so communication with others is limited--and I prefer it that way--not anti-social--but just prefer my own company at this time--as I look out window all I see is woods--deep woods large trunks of hickories, oaks pines--deep forest--no sounds--once and awhile a dog barks--or a woodpecker hacks on a tree trunk--or maybe a truck passes on the small undersize road which leads around the horseshoe...which I live off of--but seldom does a car come up the road unless it's the postman--idyllic--of course--but it's been a lifetime process--one which I have been heading for since day one  I've worked and loved this place--so I could keep it the way it is now--some say I did nothing and I love that the best--because if I did anything it always seem to mess it up--so I stopped doing anything and let it do it all itself--what changed nothing--it only added to itself--more weeds more trees more nature except it seemed to be controlled--as if naturalness piled on top of itself--some would say it's crowded--some would say that the trees are to close to the house what if they fell on the house--all I know--is it's quite and that seems to bother some folks--I couldn't live like this they say--it's so quite--it is and at times I see the start of leave fall and I actually hear the leaves as they fall through other leaves as they brush buy them on the way down..so yes it is quite--there's a highway 53 a good ways away leading to Amicalola Falls--some say it's beautiful but they don't know about another falls that was beautiful until the college kids from Oglethorpe College found out about it and changed it totally--for the worse--I'll get some pictures--stayed tuned--it'll take awhile cause it's hard to get to--and there have been several kids hurt back there--even with warning signs put up--got to go feed my dogs--will return--shortly--it takes on the average of about twenty to forty five minutes to feed my dogs not like I have a hundred or so dogs--I feed them dry food and cooked food--mixed--pork chops sometimes and rotisserie chicken all missed with dry food--Diamond Lamb and Rice, Chicken Soup, and a food called Nutri Source (expensive but you can feed them less) anyway that's the way that goes and time wise I go at it easy to make sure I've got it right--it's hard for me to read one book at a time cause I may lose interest or something comes to mind-- and I start another one-I have a lot of book marks even have to make my own--torn from all kinds of things--toilet tissue--Kleenex, matchbook covers, old maps, whatever's handy--example of books by my bedside or a desk on the front porch or where I sit in the living room or at the kitchen table--Chance and Necessity (Jacques Monod), Second Thoughts On: How to Be as Terrific as Your Dog Thinks You Are! (Mort Crim), Xala  (Sembene Ousmane), to live forever (Jack Vance), Buffalo Medicine (Don Goldsmith), Valley of the Sun (Louis L'Amour), Black Spring (Henry Miller), The Jacques Barzun Reader, The Portable Chekhov, the conquest of illusion (J.J. van der Leeuw), A House in the Country(Jose Donoso) , Adventures in Nature (Edwin Way Teale) that a taste at every spot I sit a pile begins to grow with bookmarks so I can return to the same spot each time--I advance slowly--a squirrel the window is sneaking up on a food source I guess but here comes a dog heading towards it and off they go--the squirrel up a tree and the dog standing at the bottom raising sand--looking upward like he's getting ready to climb after it--one of my dogs didn't show up for breakfast--worrying when they don't show--I going to look for her--

(9/13/2013) 

Birds (Notes)

Make your own breaks: move to colorado !!!

Insist that no boy or girl destroy a bird or it's nest...

To produce and multiply endlessly, with out ever reaching the last possibility of excellence, and committing herself to any end, is the law of nature  Burroughs, Birds and Poets

Wean them (young children) from their native cruelty by imparting to them some of your own positive sympathy with an animal's inner springs of joy...James Talks to teachers

I promise to do all I can for our native birds by treating them with kindness and by providing them with food, water, and homes...Corkster

The little bird sits at his door in the sun,
Atilt like a blossom among the leaves,
And lets his illumined being o'errun,
With the deluge of summer it receives;
His mate feels the eggs beneath her wings,
And the heart in her dumb breast flutters
       and sings;
He sings to the wide world, and she to her
      nest,--
In the nice ear of Nature which song is the best?  (Lowell, The Vision of Sir Launfal, page 106)

Wild Birds
No longer now the wing'd habitants,
That in the woods their sweet lives sing away,
Flee from the form of man; but gather round,
And prune their sunny feathers on the hands
Which little children stretch in friendly sport
Towards these dreadless partners of their play.
....................................................happiness
And science dawn though late upon the earth. (Shelley, Demon of the World.)


Alas, dear friend, that, all my days,
    Hast poured from that syringa thicket
The quaintly discontinuous lays
   To which I hold a season ticket,

A season-ticket cheaply bought
  With a dessert of pilfered berries,
And so oft my soul hast caught

   With morn and evening voluntaries. (Lowell, Nightingale in The Study)

Among the dwellings framed by birds
   In field or forest with nice care,
Is none that with the little wren's
   In snugness.

And when for their abodes they seek
   An opportune recess,
The hermit has no finer eye

   for shadowy quietness. (Wordsworth, The Wrens Nest)


This poet, though he live apart,
Moved by his hospitable heart,
Sped, when I passed his sylvan fort,
Ton do the honors of his court,
As fits a feathered lord of land,
Flew near, with soft wing grazed my hand. (Emerson, The Titmouse.)


Further on we found what we were chiefly looking for---a flock of lively little chickadees...They would light on our hands, inspect the pieces of crushed nut there, knock off the ones that did not suit them, and finally fly off with one---usually the largest...(Floyd C. Noble, Aged 14, Bird Lore, Vol. I, p. 58)

On two occasions, Chickadees have flown down and perched upon my hand. During the few seconds they remained there I became rigid with the emotion of this novel experience. It was a mark of confidence which seemed to initiate me into the ranks of woodland dwellers...(Chapman, Handbook, p. 390)


As well suppose the trees without leaves as the summer air without swallows. Ever since of old time the Greeks went round from house to house in spring singing the swallow song, these birds have been looked upon as the friends of man, and almost as the very givers of the sunshine...The beautiful swallows, be tender with them, for they symbol all that is best in nature and all that is best in our hearts. (Jefferies, Field and Hedgerows, p. 100)

Tales of Quails "n Such --A collection of Hunting and fishing Stories--Havilah Babcock

Birds --their life --their ways--their World-- Dr. Christopher Perriris   Ill. Ad Cameron

Song and Garden Birds of North America--Alexander Wetmore

The world of Birds--Gianfranco Bologna

Birds of the South Permanent and winter Birds--Charlotte Hilton Green

A birders Guide to Georgia--Joel R. Hitt and Kenneth Turner blackshaw

Georgia Bird watching  A year round Guide--Bill Thompson III

Backyard Birding--

Birding-- Joseph Forshaw, Steve Howell

Beginners Guide to Birds--Donald and Lillian Stokes

How to Watch Birds--Roger Barton

The Backyard Bird Watcher--George H. Harrison

Attracting Birds Sunset

A Complete Guide to bird feeding John V. Dennis

Familiar Garden Birds of America Henry Hill Collins Ill. John Cameron Yrizarry and Nina Williams

Why birds Sing--David Rothenberg

Birds Do It, Too--the amazing sex life of Birds--Kit And George Harrison

Birds in the garden and how to attract them--Margaret McKenny

A field Guide to Birds--Roger Tory Peterson

 Backyard Birds--An enthusiast's Guide to Feeding, Housing, and fostering Wild birds--Dr. Janann V. Jenner

Dogs and Cats--If"t were not for my cat and dog, I think I could not live---Ebenezer Elliott

First things first--we've made it a hell of a place for dogs and cats to try to live--(http://www.maakenterprises.com) say I sent you; we're friends right. I love all dogs and cats even yours and these people mean to help and have been doing it since God knows when--and most of us need as much help as we can get--just like our animals--thanks

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself...

My new Swami--noticed the concentration--relaxed enthusiasm--I knew when I saw her-- she had been to Nirvana--and awaited the force to bring into her presence  someone who could realize this potential in  her--I arrived--we looked into each others eyes and I fed her--we are as one now--we dwell in the ether to gather--and we hear and see similar quite moments--approaching--from any distance--we have the capabilities of self seeking powers--we are--thank you Swami Sammy

Dog politics--

The Way it Was--I found more joy in Sorrow--Than you could find in joy--Sara Teasdale (The Answer)

Only in Life can you
feel so many emotions
all at once
Only in life can you
feel so alive
Only when the sun sits
can you feel so lucky
only when leaves unfold
and the trees bloom
Can you feel the solemn
power of gloom
only when you live
can you cascade in the true
meaning of life
they sent you to me
for a reason
I failed you
and I'm sorry
I'm sorry for all the
illusive sediments
I brought unto you
I'm sorry for making
you live in hurt
while I lived a dream
I'm sorry to have made you feel

Depression can hit hard
when it hits your home
it takes a lot of time
and a lot of good luck
when depression hits hard
comes to close
depression can hit hard
when it comes from your heart

only in a family
can love be so kind
only in a family
can love be so good
only in a family
can love be so hard
and dear

(was it Jimmy Buffet)


Was it for this I
uttered prayers, and sobbed
and cursed and kicked the stairs,
That now, domestic as a plate,
I should retire at half-past eight.....Millay on going to bed

"that every idle word that men shall speak they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
for by thy words thou shall be justified, and by thy words thou shall be condemned."

what passes beyond "death" is the real soul....

I'm not scared (but this thought) is what made me realize and start thinking about all the wonderful moments that I've missed not being my true self all the time. The burdens and secrets which at the time seemed so important to keep hidden were nothing compared to what at that time I missed--this realization only came upon me as I watched a loved person fade before my heart's soul could explain
all the times I must have let her down----missing her greatly

We need to seek solitude in order to break away from enslavement to the mass society of today--breaking it's power so we can find where we are--getting back to recognize what we are doing and why we are doing it--seeing that we are on the right path for what we want to face at journey's end

In solitude there is something in us which has a chance to develop...this establishes the fact that there is a way of cultivating solitude not for escape, but for re-creation: not to "get away from people" but to be alone long enough to be able to heal and think better of them...said Andre Gide--if people never find themselves alone, they will never find themselves at all...

Science's true place
It exists not to dethrone, but to exalt man's dignity...It should be used to foster not destroy, the soul's side of his being

Man is born into freedom, and the place where this freedom originates and exercises it's force is in the center of his soul...Whenever men rebel against tyranny and authoritarian rule, the soul is declaring itself....

What has been said casually to impressionable people has often gone deep...

Out of the abundance of a good heart the mouth speaketh...

A stranger's eyes see clearest--Reade--The Cloister and the Hearth

People know  "you"  better than you think, the mask you wear is not all there.. all too often they have got through to motivations we have hidden from ourselves...all through our life we may be unaware of our own motivations.. But be sure other people are not ignorant.. they realize that we are not like  the mask we turn to them, by which we actually deceive ourselves...To others, we have been continually declaring ourselves...We know now that we have been doing this in some measure by little tricks of behavior, in our idle words, and chance actions...
One of the disconcerting things about the idea of death and our judgment of ourselves (AND IT WILL HAPPEN) is that the mask is finally removed and our real self revealed...we shall be approved or condemned on our backs--we face all the could have been's and should have beens and know in our last moments a life of fulfillment or one of total disappointment....the horror that can open many doors one way or the other...

O. Henry in one of his stories describes an artist whose work was so wonderful that nobody would engage him: " his brush revealed qualities which his sitters had always taken great pains to hide: his portraits were a kind of mental X-ray...

we may say most when we say least,
and say least when we say most....

Thunder the brave irresistible message,
Life is worth living,
Through every grain of it... W.E. Henley Poems

Joyce Cary--expresses this truth when he writes and believe me he does write--"love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden---it's something you have to make.. And you must use your imagination to make it too, just like anything else. It's all work, work."

This kind of true regard for ourselves gives us a proper respect... We seek our own highest welfare...This in turn becomes the guide to what we should seek for others...Cyril Powell--love is the key 

I don't know if I should say I have some books or that I have a library when you have books all over every where and I do mean every where--I EVEN HAVE A LIST OF MY  LIBRARY BOOKS AT LIBRARYTHING.COM.--it's substantial--and when I go out to my pool room and get tired from the pool table I sit and look at all my books well naturally when you start focusing I zero in on old reliable and start hauling them back in the house to read although I covered up with ones I want to read again next to my bed next my chair--and the only place I don't have them is next to the pot--well why I started this was because I would like to start suggestion books that I bring back in--Books that I picked for what ever reason for the second and sometimes third time--you may have heard of some and some you might have missed--I not suggesting any of these books to make you read them God forbid--I don't read to patterns unless the author appeals to more and more with each book if he or she can keep my interest I seek them out--but once they let me down it's like a friend that lied to you on something very important in "your" life and he acts like it was nothing--well thank you-howdy-so long and what a waste--I like any book which turns me on to insights  example (Gateway to inner Space) edited by Christian Ratsch ),  I like any book which makes me feel worthwhile example( Nature Study and Life-- Hodge), I'm having my roof replaced so I like to read about the subject roofing :( Roofing The Right Way by Stephen Bolt and Basic Roof Framing by Benjamin Barnow ) 
get the picture--I try not wasting my time--a suggestion Wise woman by Joyce Tenneson--as a man it gave me a whole new perspective on women-a tender feeling I will try and explain--it's going to be hard--from the stand point that it has to do with a whole lot of tenderness that happened when I was young--Atlanta, Georgia in the 60's I would on Saturday go meet one of my grandmothers when she got work at Davison's Dept. Store--behind which was a Krystal and we would go by the magic store and usually go tom a movie at the Rialto theater--well going to meet her one day --the bus was crowed--a lady got on the bus she was loaded down with stuff packages whatever--I got up and gave her my seat--she thanked me--the next thing I new I was being told by am white man that he wasn't
going to let that happen--he made the lady get up (she was black) and made me set back down--that was my first experience-- all I remember was being like my face was on fire--red--all the way down Peachtree Street till I got off at Davison's--the book I referred to was read a month after my wife died and it gave me a whole new idea about what my wife had been all about and what a shit I was to not think a woman was more than a piece of dirt--how many times I was wrong and would not admit it--how my heart ached by not being in person to be able to say I was sorry for all I had put her through,
and how I missed her greatly, and if this could be one of those times I  could have a second chance, we are different but respect, honor, love, trust, friend, joy, and devotion  and any thing which I left out you could add--please do--

Whenever is depth and meaning in control...

The traditional task of science has been to simplify nature, expose its underlying logic, and then use that logic as a means to control...

Complicated dynamical systems are indeed determined by their causes...

Because men are still incapable of being angels is no good reason why they should be ants...

" Herd State "--the denial of supreme value to the human individual...

The United States was originally dedicated to the preservation not only of national independence but of personal pre-eminence within the national state. If, however the American can be further bullied or educated or bribed into renouncing his individuality, then it becomes hard to explain his hostility to governments based upon mass anonymity....

In submerged tensions--you learn backwards...

I try not to give the impression that I am exorcising some nameless anxiety...

Like they say, what doesn't destroy you makes you stronger..

After 50, everybody steps through the looking glass...

During my 60 some odd years that I have been able to vote, I have heard thousands of speeches; but few of them have changed my opinion, not one of them has changed my vote...

Every conclusion drawn from " our " observation is, as a rule, premature, for behind the phenomena which we see clearly are other phenomena that we see indistinctly, and perhaps behind these latter, yet others which we do not know exist...

There is no power, divine or human, that can oblige a stream to flow back to it's source...

For All Bleeding Hearts and Hearts of gold
Any bird, bug, or animal including the human animal can be self-serving, cool, and steely-hearted.
It is only the superhuman who can rise to compassion--Chute--(Letourneau's Used Auto Parts)

Come forth into the light of things
       Let nature be your teacher--Wordsworth

Were all gonna to be just dirt in the ground--Tom Waits

In these days of wars and rumors of wars haven't you ever dreamed of a place where there was peace and security, where living was not a struggle but a lasting delight--Lost Horizon directed by Frank Capra (1937)

" The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something, and tell what it saw in a plain way. Hundreds of people can talk for one who can think, but thousands can think for one who can see. To see clearly is poetry, prophecy, and religion--all in one." John Ruskin

To day we love what to morrow we hate
To day we seek what to morrow we shun
To day we desire what to morrow we fear
Nay, even tremble at the apprehension of--Daniel Defoe (Robinson Crusoe)

...Heaven did not seem to be home; and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth; and the angels were so angry that they flung me out--Emily Bronte (Wuthering Heights)

"Speak the rude truth in all ways"--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Daddy," La said.
When she handed him the story, his eyes changed.
"It's about Mom," La said, but she knew he knew...
"Thank you honey," he looked as though he hadn't slept or eaten for days. But he took off his glasses then, and La saw two small images of herself swimming in the tears in his eyes....

A past joy is of no more consequence than a past trouble...

Retrospect is first cousin to stagnation.. think on that after a tall one

If you miss the joy, you miss all...

Anticipation is nine tenths of the joy of life, because anticipation is constructive thought...

Form dictated by an eye to opinion destroys itself....

We wreck the very genius of our children by forcing " considerations " upon them...

Dodging the issue is blinding the inner eye and spoiling the vision...

Remember that it is no part of your job to put in his or her place somebody who disagrees with you...

Remember this---...
You will never find all the truth about the subject that you started with because all the truth about anything leads invariably to infinity...

Emerging from a disciplined home in which acts of defiance were so deplored that the possibility of such behavior went un suspected...well now this was in the 50's and 60's and infinity opened up

They saw as a result of their daily observation and total body receptivity that all things are dependent upon each other. Through this knowledge, the norm of reciprocity in all relationships was raised to the height of sacred status. Balanced reciprocity with all of creation was to be observed at all costs, because , without its practice, the fragile web of life would be irreparably damaged...(Gateway to Inner Space--edited by Christian Ratsch)

A women cannot love a man because she feels for him even the most profound respect....

Roman Numerals--remember them ? Women are perfectly well aware that the more they seem to obey the more they rule... Michelet

I.............1
II............2
III..........3
IV.........4
V..........5
VI........6
VII.......7
VIII......8
IX.........9
X..........10
XI.........11
XII........12
XIII.......13
XIV.......14
XV.........15
XVI........16
XVII.......17
XVIII......18
XIX.........19
XX..........20
XXX.......30
XL..........40
L.............50
LX..........60
LXX.......70
LXXX or XXC...80
XC.........90
C...........100
CC........200
CCC.....300
CD.......400
D.........500
DC.......600
DCC....700
DCCC...800
CM.......900
M.........1000
MM......2000

you're welcome

Money--Ah, Take the cash,and let the credit go, or heed the rumble of a distance drum! Omar Khayyam--Rubaiyat

Money

If a man's after money, he's money mad
If he keeps it, He's a capitalist.
If he spends it, he's a playboy.
If he doesn't get it, he's a ne'er-do-well.
If he doesn't try to get it, he lacks ambition. If he gets it without working for it, he's a parasite---
And if he accumulates it after years of toil, people
   call him a fool who never got anything out of life

Victor Oliver

To become fully enlightened of what you are carrying inside of you is to inherit all of heaven--
 each person holds within himself what he is seeking--a sense of glory in life...

Words are drawers-
Fantasies are our limits
we watch folks from director's chairs
tangled theories
worried lives

Far into the mind
where the light pierces gray--
substance becomes solid
doubts left way behind
scores already settled
where the little gray cells
are massed
where skies are clear
where time seems still
and color fades
where functions are automatic
and no dust settles
where hard and fast rules
don't apply
where the soul's clear openness
conducts itself
leaving no desires and no distress
where thoughts are on the level
and doubts not at all
where mind travel is straight and narrow
and it's cold as ice
where leaves don't fall
no seasons exist
and surface tension has no function
where strings are pulled
only light comes on
where shade fades
into candle glows
where memory calls
and leaves it all

Corkster

Without a vital interest, wealth and leisure will ruin any man...

Money talks, but it never gives itself away...

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood....Oscar Wilde