I guess I better start the day of with a confession-I worked yesterday like a madman on a walker--cause that's what I was--planting like I was never going to be able to plant again--tomatoes--beans--cucumbers--herbs --and citronella-for the sitting area--it was in a huge pot--I had to put on the seat of the walker to move it around--the dogs were a big help when I was doing one thing like mixing up soil they were digging holes and distributing--the unopened bags all over the driveway--big help--I even used ashes to keep the slugs and snails from bothering the plants--I spread it all over the ground--around the plants that I had planted--they especially bad at night--so usually when I feed the dogs outside--i bring the bowls in at night--mice or wood rats also find their the same bowls --and excrete in them and that's another reason I bring them in the house--and w2ash them thoroughly--
It scares me into knowing how vulnerable we men really are--the act that --the one golden goody-- God or--yours--gave us as humans is for creation--it's cloaked pretty good as far as I concerned--why did we hide it? Who was the guy that made the decision to put cloth of all things--shouldn't we hang this guy--put him out his misery--the greens outside my window are just starting to lighten up--from morning light--there's a sheen on the ones closest to the light source--off into the woods more there's still shadows off and on--and memories of walking in the woods safely--getting back to the vulnerability of men--I never wanted something so much as to find the person you're supposed to be with--can it be anybody--how are we so different--without one there wouldn't be any other and yet we can't seem to cooperate--this coming together--why does it have to be so full of anxiety--and the looking, and touching, and playing the games,--feeling different and helping--if you only knew that you were doing those thing--it would matter--I read a David Lodge book and it was talking about sex and the man and women--man having his way and women hanging on like it was her great duty to let this idiot perform--and how about that women who buried her husband in the back yard and didn't regret it one bit--I had to keep that in mind for a few days --for some reason it kept popping back up--now when women can start getting in the news and getting away with it--there's other things I'd like to keep on my mind--and one is reaching to the other person and let them know everything is all right--you reach your limit and that's when you start hearing other things that don't really matter--focusing in on the man and women objectives are the main attraction here--I really can't think of a more fitting conclusion--- as two people reaching there limit together--and feeling what's to be felt--together--wouldn't there have to be some kind of power generated or gases being released; shouldn't some thing go off some where else--balloons, kites, fireworks--I'm sitting here writing at a desk that faces southeast--the trees are so plentiful--I can't see beyond my window thirty feet--in any direction so I have plenty of openings-- I can; let my eye loose in,--while my mind sifts out what I would like to say--now the barks from the base of the large and small trees are coming into focus--like clothed figures these old friends and I have endured a lot--together--and it hasn't always been unpleasant--but how do you know--when you think things through--your belief in the matter--what's matter--(Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty, and women their happiness--Mme. De Rieux)
it has no relationship--it can't be thought of in the right way it has no existence--it's life's breath--you can't live where I live and not know that the smells going on are generated from the soul of the earth around my place--we've had some form of rain almost everyday--or when not raining clouds form up most of the sky--and the ground isn't being sucked dry--dog going up driveway--Different --make every hour you can different--why not make the seconds count also--what it all adds up to is you and enjoying your life--all the babble in the world isn't going to do anything for you--people will try to help--but why let them-get it started yourself you know better than anyone your requirements--and what makes you feel the best--and doing it yourself will give the strength needed for other things later--makes sense to me--another dog coming up the driveway--they know it's close to feeding time and they want to make sure--their here--the air condition vent is over my head--you wouldn't like in a restaurant cause it would be to cold--but when I writing a cold breeze down one's neck keeps the spirits from holding out--gives them what's needed to feel through what needs to be said--it's not easy spilling your insides--digging out the truth that's hasn't wanted to be exposed--like pulling teeth--I sit in my window and try to explain what I feel is going down--all around me and a good distance away also--watching T.V., just acting a part in life--observing what's out there and what' behind it--culturally speaking--I don't see much and before you get excited it doesn't matter what I think-- what matters is the continuous evolution towards what ever comes next--it's a rhythm--generated by the connection felt every day--a composite of the world of the moment--a speck is what you are--I don't even think you could be found--compared--with anything that had mattered--so what it all about--you--you--you do your part the best way you can honestly-taking into consideration that you do what you do because you enjoy your life because you are starting to feel your real self wanting to come up to the surface and begin living--well, well, well,-- an individual--a human worth noting and knowing-I share with you what I think because I'm in the mountains--and I'm looking over and down on you--I send you water--I know how much you get--I observe your sprawl, your greed, your ways that only a stranger can pick up on--I see what is happening down there and here things I could hardly imagine--what would make a person live there when not far away--heaven on earth--I guess it depends on how you want to be a liver, a giver, or a candle stick maker--I know you'd have to be into something that you knew would make your whole life worthwhile or at least I would hoped so--causes are a good thing to work with--focus--activity--monetary reasons--earnestness--a reckoning--the feeling that something is happening here and I don't know what it is but I feel--please don't take what I say as anything more than what it is--an expression from my heart to you--that what I'm saying now beyond this last word is from an opened heart--not surgery--but opened--by the strength of years and times that were all changing--experience--is hard to live through sometimes--it gives you a task--it let's you carry it out and then doesn't give a big damn--whatever comes down the pipe is the way it is--hard to believe someone would let people like us loose on such a fine piece of property--and at what a cost--how can you not want to live here free--whose screwed it all up--how can we look each other in the eyes and not wonder--who the hell do we think we ARE--I'm looking for my soapbox--(memory) I was in one soapbox derby--over near Tech--somehow I remember them sponsoring it for the kids--could be wrong--but anyway I was there sort of thing--as a kid I had this big tree in the yard and everyone would come over and climb up it lots of low branches--I climbed it one time got up on one of the branches and had a scarf made out of rope--not a noose--just rope--I got this idea to hang from the neck piece--I hung it over the limb--then I proceeded to let loose of one side and then reaching for the other end realized a mistake in the theory of what I was about--of course I was already on my way down to the ground--about 15 feet--I landed on my side and the breath was removed forcibly from my lungs--in other words I thought I was in some kind of pain--well needless to say that was written in my memory on a stone tablet--next to the ten commandants--I can see up through the trees now--the sky clouds are thinning--it might burn off by 10 or 11--the housedog is becoming more pronounced in her hunger begging--and I'm feeling a little guilty--must be something to this caring--
I think it is a lie for a man unable to make a decision to say, Anyway we know all the facts." (like kiss my ass)
When the flesh is satisfied the spirit is calmer and more at ease, and it becomes more amorous and appreciative---love in bloom
What is patriotism but love of all the good things we grew up with---
Nature does not produce a combative temperament where no fighting is needed...
he difference between cannibals and civilized men seems to be that cannibals kill there enemies and eat them, while civilized men kill their foes and bury them, put a cross over their bodies and offer up prayers for their souls. Thus we add stupidity to conceit and a bad temper (Lin Yutang )
The herbivorous men go their way through life minding there own business, while carnivorous men make their living by minding that of others---
There is a curious belief in some people that a proper accumulation of objective facts add up into wisdom...
Destiny is not the slave of laws; it is their master, employing them as it pleases...The laws themselves are simply fate working out it's will, fate being not an intrusion into the world, but the world itself---
Trying a little free thought is sometimes discouraging because you can't always say what you feel needs to be said-- words sometimes come from so many directions it hard to comment on why they do this but it's so simple to let them flow from the specit of their choice because what comes out may be worth it's weight in gold--sometimes I feel I've said enough--because I feel guilty when I control the flow of so many minds trying to follow a fellows saying--I road around the back roads around my house and came up with all kinds of thoughts--my dog was sitting in the front seat with me--I had a fantasy about a patrolman pulling up and I said she's the boss--about this time she has to have her afternoon ride--just around the country road--
Evil is always somebody's mistaken point of view…
How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book! The book exists for us, perchance, which will explain our miracles and reveal new ones… Henry David Thoreau
Spiritual Law--Let a man catch a glimpse of the better state and he will take it every time….
The magic words--" Try another way "
How is that we are so far behind in money matters--we have politicians that are in Washington taking care of business--right--we have a country to run-- right --and they are doing us a favor, by spending us to the poor house--right--it's not like they're doing it behind our backs--don't we have people that watch these things--then how do they get done--hmm,hmm….sending Kerry to some country to help them out with a billion dollars--how can we do that--were up to our ass in debt--and we're still essentially giving money away--why don't we take care of ourselves,our infrastructures are crumbling all around us--bridges,roads,schools,government buildings, we're in shambles and not even thinking about taking care of our own business--you know like clean up our own backyard before we go interfering with other peoples--how can this keep going--the amount of money we owe is astronomical who can't see this--if we took all the fingers out of all the pies that we shouldn't be involved in--and started taking care of our own business we'd be do it in no time--I have no doubt--we as Americans don't like what I'm seeing and it keeps going--politicians are not doing there jobs--if anywhere in the world people would let things go on like this as far as the debt is concerned--how could anything get done--no way--people would be standing in line to get their money back from no good lenders--now how has it turned out that we are the protectors of the whole world--we go in we take out who ever was doing the wrong and then we build back all we destroyed--hmm hmm hmm we leave carnage where ever we go--we leave death and distraction where ever we go--we leave our boys and girls dead--families ruined--futures demolished, and still look for other ways to keep going in the same old death and destructive ways as before--will we never learn--or are we learning that the more we pretend to be doing the worst--no-one will stop and think--or try to hold on to common sense and say hey--there's no way we can keep this up--and then another term of office starts and we hear the same good old boy crap--no one is held accountable--and God forbid Hillary Clinton is coming out for President--I'm actually sick of the Clintons--and she's coming out with a book for God's sack--when will they go away--what did they do when they were in the White House--I don't really want to know--I just want them to fade away--I'm not looking for another Christ to be our President but surely someone our there can come up with something better than we've already had--it's pathetic--we have a good system that's lasted forever and every one is watching it go down the tubes--help--where have all the values gone--where have all the eye to eye things gone--where have all the kindnesses gone--where has everything gone that got us to where awe are today--there has to be some kind of goodness somewhere--why is it when you think of somewhere to go it's out of the country--when you go there you aren't respected--you're treated like crap--what's wrong with our own country--huh--hey I'm asking you--well it's not easy for me to have to go through this with anyone I can't see--look you in the eye--and try to discuss something so important--because this is important especially if it's going to be stopped--and is it--ha--what has Europe or any other country outside the U.S. done for us--that's right I'm asking--what have we given--lives some of our best-and I'm sick of doing anything that is going to cost us more--am I the only one who wonders whose going to stop this murdering of our boys and girls-- the kids that come with their limbs and bodies ruined--am I crazy--or what--where are the mothers and fathers--does no-one care--how can one person send so many people to die and for what--what have we got in return--are we getting things under the table--and I just don't know it--well I hope it's something really big because to me it's not worth the cost in lives of people who could really help in the future… and could probably contribute to our futures if left alive to do so….damn it all--wake the hell up people--we're getting so far out of sight of right and wrong we're losing our perspective of what right and wrong is--we're just getting to where it frightens me--to the point that---who cares---and we can't do anything about it anyway so why bother What we need to do is get a handle on our own Country and take care of our own business-by getting what we have back in good order--then take another look at where others are going and see if they believe in what we believe is right or wrong--this crap about going to any body's aide who needs it is way out of control--how did they get to where they are--how did we get to where we are--one step at a time--we all have problems and life was never an easy thing but when you go in and start telling others how to live--they lay down and wait for you to handle everything that will come down the road…
Money brings with it a responsibility some of us are unable to handle…
Sometimes it is to easy to read meanings into things…
I sit outside my house watching work being done--- I had a chair brought out--sometimes I just stare out into the woods letting the sound of hammer and saw wash over me…
The thing about memories, they mean nothing to anyone else…
Our beliefs guide our desires and shape our actions…
No question can exist when I see it clearly; it becomes it's own answer…
Drama is the artistic expression of empathy…
Hurry is the slowest way of doing anything….
The object of reasoning is to find out from the consideration of what we already know, something else which we do not know…
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