Sounds like to much intellect and too little character...
The characteristic of the artist is discontent...
Never disturb ignorance...
A powerful conscience with no sense of humor--a dangerous combination...
Children often underestimate what their parents can grasp---
Man kind delights in mischief--always has and always will...
Subtle wits like to refresh themselves with a whiff of mild indecency...
"He was telling me about his life.."
" Yes--he must have it nicely polished up by now.."
And we don't always chose our old friends, you know sometimes we're just landed with them...
You know what terrible puritans scientist's are about their work...Just about all men need a women in one way or another, unless they're very strange indeed...
There is something honest about hearing the clods rattling down on a coffin lid--
But how do you do better when nobody believes anything very firmly...
Holding in is more demanding than crying out--
We have our own media guide--physical senses
My brain is my interpreter of all my stress...master controller--Capt. Kirk--my "displacement" (eating smoking, drinking, or exercise,) behavior observer..
Our own personal defense shield--our immune system...my major defense barrier
Experience of someone on a roll has been likened to a piece of iron glowing white on red…One may not see the fire but one knows the fire is within...
Lasting values---common ways of everyday life...
All of us are inarticulate about the deepest elements of our lives…
I can support my thrust a lot cheaper than I can my remorse…
That's what good things are for--inspiration, not envy…
The upper the leap, the downer the tumble...
Well all I can say about last night is I had a wild one--dreams where I kept getting lost--wandering around in a shopping mall looking for a certain way in or out--and I don't think I ever found it--I know I was getting frustrated though--cat stayed in room last night in an old yellow chair--Owen my son's dog he left with me slept right by my side --I couldn't even roll over he was pushed up so close--wonder if he felt I was going through some shit--sleeping without waking up so much is the way to go--having to use the bathroom a lot doesn't help a whole but lately I haven't needed to get up like I did--started reading The Eye Never sleeps--very interesting--very simple--reading but the concepts and carrying them out h-mmmmm--how can simple be so hard--the giving up--is it I'm looking for excuses and just don't want change--so I grab at straws
What is moral-- what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after…Ernest Hemmingway
I'm connected to my high School Graduation class--within the last half year we've lost 6 people I'm not feeling so good every time I see a name come up--I was personally connected with them all in some minor way--not just hall occupants but on some form of friendly basis..really hurts in not physical way but one where you wish something that maybe you had seen them or something before they went--all these folks were with me when we were young in our forming years--death--I don't know-- it's hard to come to grips with as the world just seems to go on and it doesn't matter that someone close to you passed--hard to accept…My mind doesn't go back to each individual action that I was involved with each person--it just seems to linger--or it seems to be in suspension--as if stuck back in time and searching where we parted and possibly why?--we didn't ever communicate after high school--so why am I wondering about them now who knows--
Sleep comes and it goes--sometimes I just can't go back to sleep--laying there I feel time wasting away--it can be 1:00 or 3:30 in the morning but sleep just doesn't seem like what I want to do--shopping at that time at Wal-Mart is a dream come true--it's almost like all the stock people are working just to make you happy--they're a little groggy--but what ever your question is it gets taken care of slowly of course because most of the folks are older than your are--Everything I do now almost has to be in slow motion--I use a cane--I can last much longer and go further with my cane--if I start out just trying to make do without the cane my day becomes a lot shorter as far as my movement and tiredness is concerned--
We came to the door of our room. I opened it, turned on the light with one hand, helped her to the edge of the bed, and looked at her intently.. Her hands and face were clean, her white hair was almost the way she liked it, there was not in her eyes that special expression the faint disquieting glitter I had come to recognize as a danger signal. It would be safe to leave her. She looked only very old and tired and sad. This was not going to be one of her bad days….
this page is not one I like to come too--it's sort of a blind spot whenever I look at it--you know like see something but I don't--like it's really not here in front of me--I think I started it when I was in some kind of shock after my wife died--I put my computer in a southern exposure--on the front porch--I have a porch with all windows--it gets a little cold in the winter because I out here a lot--bought me a small heater to keep my feet warm does real nice job--the only problem is when the sun comes out boy right in my eyes--I put up some craft paper the kind that's different colors--but I've blocked my outside views--if I wait for the sun to not be in my eyes I usually forget what I want to write--so I'm going to change things around a bit today--I got this helper who does what I want him to--so I hope all goes well--and I'm hoping he comes today--well see…
Watching out my window I have these dogs one is supposed to be a German shepherd and the other is a Boxer--they're wondering up and down the driveway--they start the other dog in the lead but soon the boxer being faster goes a head--the boxer is outside under the boxwoods burying an old dead snake--she want let the German sheep.. get near her prize--
Listen more often to things rather than beings…
well I can say I'm not in tip -top shape--I feel sluggish--out of sorts and headachy--I was looking for a book yesterday--one that was meaningful to someone I cared for--and I knew I'd misplaced it--so I started the looking process--and was it never ending--I mean like I looked for two or maybe even three days--searching--digging in boxes--under boxes--moving things around that hadn't been moved in several months--I kid you not--of course--I found things that I had to take back inside with me which when I got my little basket full--I had to make a special trip--so back and forth--I trudged--and this morning was hell--sore--legs--back --and arms--getting old--can it be enjoyable--if I don't move--just sort of vegetate --I feel like I can make it--laying down after a while I get sort of achy and have to get up cause one or two spots are complaining--and become uncomfortable--
Selfish desire is the strongest of all the obstacles one encounters...
Depression is a passing " state of mind " in which the worst is inevitable…
There is no virtue in endurance…
Talent is always conscious of its own abundance and does not object to sharing…
I get into feeding the dogs--I use dried food plus rotisserie chicken mixed--a little hamburger--and some oatmeal--even throw in some bacon grease about a tablespoonful when it's available--I have to cut the meat up in little bitty pieces or they'll just eat the meat and levee the other food but most of the time there's nothing left--unless I left the bowls outside and slugs have crawled all over and in them--so now I bring the bowls inside at night--where the slugs don't get to them--I use pork chops in their food also so they don't feel like they're getting the same thing
Every ache is the one big one that's going to carry you outta here--but then you wake up or you realize you still functioning--and you're going to have to keep doing what you are doing a little longer--yesterday I was for packing it in--just about ready to kick off--or push off into the dark void--but something happened and here I be--the morning came into focus, the clatter of other people moving around and my daughter brought me my coffee in bed--and I decided to get up or I was going to pee i the bed--got up and fixed my hearing aide--another battery--put on my everyday shorts and meandered into the kitchen--got me a bowl of sugar puffs--and counted how many batteries I had before i had to buy some more..really an exciting start to my day…grand style--
A friend got in touch with me after I'd written him and he said he was taking his grandkids to Dolly World--and I got to thinking about my grandkids--not especially in the right way but thinking about them--I don't know if I've ever carried them anywhere--probably not because--we're so different--the families and I are--I live out in the middle of no-where and they live in areas where they live best I guess--anyway its the way it is and so--I'm where I am ..end of story trying to make up for all the things I think I did't do-- not exactly the thing for an old man to be thinking about--selfish--don't think so but maybe a sorry way to look at myself--cutting myself down at this late date--is a horrible way to get the day started--going right back to the way my day ended the other day--
Trust is a simple either you do or you don't--and then when you question someone about how can you trust them when they don't do what you want them to do because you thought it was what they wanted--or even worse when they don't do what they say they were going to do----well what of it--it's just another where in todays time people don't do a lot of things they say they are going to do--what are you some kind of spoiled brat--always wanting your way--poor baby--not getting what he wants...it's not that exactly it's when you say something you're going to do--don't say something you're going to do and not do it--it's the first in roads of destroying trust with someone you've sort of made a bargain with...and then when you don't do what you say you're going to do--there's an under currant created that causes cracks in a relationship and if you don't correct it in a way which both parties agree to-- there will be some sadness brought about--that could cause the relationship to dissolve...in a way which could cause--problems for both of the parties involved...and why do it that way anyway--if the relationship is going sour get out of it--even if it brings about hardships --it is still not worth having to lie about things even if they are minor--because eventually the problems will grow all out of proportion and then there will be a bigger mess than if you had got out of it in the first place instead of having to keep lying....and feeling guilty--which will happen...even before the threats and accusations start...the first sign of distrust is usually the time to get out of a relationship no matter what it's about--no excuses--sounds sort of mean--but when the ugly head of distrust rears up there are no two ways about it--one thing was expected and another took place--this leaves room for doubt--when there's doubt--there is no relationship--if you can't stand on solid ground in a relationship with all four feet on terra firm-a you are asking for trouble--cause some wool has been pulled over someone's eyes...you have to reach into someone soul in a relationship in today's time cause there is so much going down and up--that can be no leeway for misinterpretations if there is any doubt the relationship isn't what it is supposed to be...
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