Night -- In the real Dark of Night of the Soul it is Always three o'clock in the Morning---F Scott Fitzgerald---The Crackup

Another late night--staying awake is not problem--keeping my brain rom it's normal stirring is a hard thing to do--thinking about a woman--and I 'm 71 years old--come now--where are your thoughts leading--at my age what should I be thinking about--is there a subject--one that can keep the mind in bounds--I was surprised at myself--feeling the way I do--is there no relief--from this man-woman thing--actually I was going over some pictures of groups and she stood out beyond my imagination--thinking of her smile--I connected--in my heart--of course there were all kinds of questions--and i sank down on my knees and thanked heaven for letting me know one we such as this I'd missed when young--but of course--she had been involved with another--and their parting happened to cause an innerness I hadn't reckoned on--does one ever--the dead have there time --the living can't be jealous of the dead--right--wrong--I sure whoever he was would want her to get out of this way of thinking and get back to the living one which could give her other thoughts of living the good life--or do I sound selfish--greedy--times--all I can say I alive and waiting for the times when I'll have my opportunity--or will I--impatient--no not exactly--just wanting to get her out of grief--watching her go through it--is torture in itself--feeling for her like I've never felt before--is causing me a concern I was not ready for...strange--age hasn't helped me get over--the petty thoughts--when so much is at stake for her...working with her on the internet the way we're doing is a hindrance--that also is getting to her--so--I don't know how it can work itself out--in should I say our favor--better say just mine--she's along way from coming around to me--complications in sadness are way beyond what I a see or think of this close to my own demise--I can't sit around and think of someone else's who's not around and the concern I have is getting to me---she's asked me not to write to her--as much--so she can grieve and get some things done--as if I had no feelings in the matter--her being my only concern--to watch something I thought as a flower in bloom--wilting--before my very eyes--her green light was on tonight--as if I didn't know it--but the e-mail I had gotten earlier again asked me not to write her so much--just not being able to reach out--and try to get her to open up in a way I know would help--is seeming like an impossible task--she want get out of grief--am I rushing her--maybe--the wave of help in me has it's slow course--for me to bare...

Hunting Ginseng I always look on the north slope--under a maple tree...

It's amazing what parents can forgive

Mankind needs all kinds of people...

Natural selection took the genetic endowment  of human beings and compounded it...

Culture is a powerful means for controlling human environment exactly because it is not biologically inherited...

No miracle happens without a witness…

Competition and strife are not the only laws of life...

Make a place in your backyard where you can take a blanket--maybe take some refreshments--and depending on the weather whatever it takes to make you stay as long as it "needs" be--and enjoy a night under the stars--this means something from my past--I lived right up the street from Atlanta's Night under the stars--at Chastian Park--I loved the golf course too…air at night should cost extra--stars are the real ones no acting involved--the scene--one on one or to each his own--what people put each other through..

Watching the last embers in the fireplace,,I sit eating an orange,and sipping my hot chocolate---Something about winter fires brings to mind all the intimate thoughts I've ever had--thoughts that I would never have had; come into the open when I sit in front of a open fire--outside the circle of the fire warmth is only within certain limits and if you're to far away--cold creeps in --you feel it and start getting closer to the fire--seeking it's comfort and warmth again--words spoken around the fire side are usually far and few between--but they mean so much more and their significance moves into different channels and it seems like you've never covered them before--these discussions become intimate and they seem to loosen our tongues toward mellow moods--letting us know the person with us even better than we thought possible--we become better acquainted with ourselves and with those we're conversing with..a sort of give and take--no holding back--the depths reached are liberating and give us pleasures we don't often feel with those we love and appreciate--especially when we realize that they to are giving of themselves--and we come to an understanding we both feel...

Night

The night is spiritual; how it hides all things secular, how it blots out the common and the wearisome, how it nourishes our sense of mystery, and the profound. It adds the transcendental, the immeasurable, to our world. It uncovers the heavens, they have a new meaning when we have walked under them at night. I would not forget the debt we owe to the day; life itself, and all that sustains it, light and warmth, cloud and sun, brought us here and keep us here. The gifts of the night are less tangible; the night does not come with fruit and flowers, and bread and meat; it comes with stars and star-dust, with mystery and nirvana....William Burroughs

The night has a thousand
       eyes,
   The day but one;
Yet the light of the bright
       world dies
    with the setting sun... F. W. Bourdillon -- Light


Making night hideous
      Shakespeare---Hamlet.  Act I. Sc . 4

An he began to see as truth-- things that could only be guessed at...

But for him, now, all history was filled with sunlight, every hollow was filled with rain .He was governed only by the elements...

They had trusted him because of his severity because he was incorruptible...

She was picking up intricacies of what was around them...

In the last few years he had found the hidden histories, intentionally lost, that altered the perspective and knowledge of earlier times ...It was how one hid or wrote the truth when it was necessary to lie...

They were early risers and early sleepers, aligned to the sun and moon...

All you want when you're a kid is certainty....

He was not an easily liked man, he had lost charm somewhere in his youth...

It was a strange self-knowledge for someone who had always been humble in his assumptions...

Law of the Universe---that what you think in your mind you will produce in your experience...

Righteousness means, not merely right conduct, but right thinking on all subjects in every department of life…

Striking Eyes as if they were the windows of his soul, their blinds were constantly down…

Everything can be obscured by something--

The night has a thousand
                eyes
the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright
    world dies
With the dying sun.F.W. Bourdillon--Light

Night's black Mantle covers all alike.  Du Bartas