Monthlies--periods in one's life--moments--to be considered--ways toward--comfort-- to slowing the process--of fastness

What is going on here--I can't seem to be doing anything I like--started back to exercising chinning bar--weight machine by Joe Weider--some of the things I'm doing really make me ache in the mornings--but others give me the tight feeling that I use to get when I new i was doing the right thing--after waking up I and walking around I start feeling like I'm loosening ups and my muscles stop being tight--also when I watch T.V. during March madness I lift hand weights--not letting myself get bcd into Slovenes--food is a problem what I need to do is figure some energy giving food source--to help along with my weight lifting and exercise--I'm looking forward to getting away from my walker--and my cane if possible--hopefully the walker can go the cane doesn't bother me as much--so of nice carrying a weapon around--may change cane for something a little more for protection--especially if I have to go somewhere--like Atlanta--I do feel like I'm getting some strength back in arms-- but I have been using them a lot more lately in the lifting and arm pulls--we'll see looking forward to see what I can go back to doing after I've worked out  a while...will keep informed.... 

The lowest thing on earth is a man with nothing to do.. 

Nature shows no partiality...

What allows mules to be obstinate is their blinders..

Understanding is the beginning of approving...

Personality asserts itself by its limitations

Physical Pleasure is such a convincing illusion, and sex, the ultimate charade of safety...

Got any idea what the hell this is and why it's in my neighborhood--I like nature but when it starts looking like it's going to out grow me  I wonder--a friend found this in their house just before going to work --I think he said he went back to bed---have no idea and I go around my house bare footed all the time --I mean I use to--I keep a clean house now even looking in those dark corners...

Temperature of the body (37 degrees C)

Water in our body makes enzyme action possible...

Self-preservation is the first law of nature...

The essence of life is activity...

What an individual does on any given day depends upon what it did do on the day before...continuing--in fact a growing individual should be in constant functional relationship with it's limited environment...

The will to refrain is taught first; the will to act comes later...both are true habits and should be taught only by training---?

Too much deliberation leads to a vacillating attitude...

Aboulia--a condition where a person is unable to reach any decision at all...

He who is trained to control his actions by steady purpose and grit is best able to cultivate useful habits --- "and to break bad habits"... 

A evening at home--

"How calm and quiet a delight

       Is it, alone,

 To read and meditate and write,

       By none offended, and offending none!

 To walk, ride , sit or sleep at one's own ease

       And, pleasing a man's self, none other to displease." Charles Cotton, a friend of Izaak Walton

This morning started setting mouse traps hasn't got above 82 yet and it's in the afternoon, Come September the mice like everything else starts looking for that warm spot --they can occupy all winter long every year i catch about 12 to fifteen of them before winter eta in--I always get down and out when I have to catch them with there white bellies and then I feel a little better cause I catch them before they start having the little ones--my wife use to suggest catching them and then when I got busy working outside the house for folks in town --I noticed my traps were disappearing--and then when i had to buy more--I started sneaking around watching what happened to the traps the garbage can was the only stop I needed she really didn't like the idea of have to pull that little spring up to dump the mouse so she just threw the hole trap away--in other words one trap per mouse--not that I'm a cheap scape but I think she thought I was when i started bitching so from then on I got up early and made sure the traps were emptied..

Good month to go "cocooning"--this kind of "Hunting" will help your powers of observation and will add to your pleasure of counting on next spring...each leaf that on bushes and shrubs might look  like a dead leaf hanging or curled un-naturally--investigate it--bring the cocoons home place in a box look them up and try to identify--then next March or April go back and start observing--also look for the "Fringed Gentian" along creek banks or low moist areas--Bryant---

         

       

"Thou waitest late, and com'st alone

          When woods are bare and birds have flown,

           And frost and shortening days portend

           The aged year is near his end.

           Then doth thy sweet and quiet eye

            Look through its fringes to the sky,

            Blue--Blue--as if that sky let fall

            A flower from its cerulean wall."

  

Before the settling down colors (neutral tints--of gray and brown) of winter arrive nature screams one last time--the hints of autumn's grandeur---each walk you take no matter where you live will show you particular things for your area--not just nature will stand out--neighbors--also---go out expecting to see--you may not see what you expect but your eyes will begin to focus---and you'll probably see something worthwhile---"nature's companionship" will unfold

September is Nature's resting period...leaves in a few places-begin to change--depending on how dry the former months were...the leaves dying are the forerunner of the gorgeous tapestry that will spread through the woods next month or the next--as the withdrawal of the remarkable substance "cambium" is removed from the leaves before they fall...

All nature's creatures are looking for a place bed down for the winter months--can't say I seen any signs that say winter is going to be horrible or not--But have killed two copperheads and a Timber rattler heading into my wood shed for a nice cozy comfortable place to lay their weary heads--had a little helping from Maisie my snake seeker--she alerted me to their were a bouts before they got to comfortable writing spiders are all around the place--got some photo's of some really nice webs--checking on my kindling, getting ready for my first fire, and cold weather all my wood had been turning this really nice gray color--on the ends--got some really nice old oak,Hickory, and mt. maple, got some nice papers from library, and some old boxes I've been cutting up to get kindling started...got some old bark I use sometimes when low on other stuff, got popped the other day by a wasp--well actually several and at this time of year they can really get you good...don't really like that but it seems their stinger has a lot more pop to it near the end of the year, don't know if that has any scientific backing but wow..it smarted--got'em though--and was glad I did--he was persistent..hanging on to the last minute..put some toothpaste on it--helped--got a spider out side the bathroom window been at his web for the past two days gotten really elaborate..taking his time--are there any pass words to serenity...how do a some people take care of their burdens..is there a secret...one is seldom able to speak telling words to their children or to others...would it be possible to remove all trivial words form our vocabulary...we have so many...I still have a clothes line..hardly ever used anymore--since we have those things you throw in the washing machine.. but this winter before all the blankets are put on the beds--I'M GOING TO PUT THEM ON THE LINE TO GET SOME SUNSHINE--how about them apples...even the pillow cases...and of course reap the benefits when my head hits sleepy time...must be the time of year--really get down and out this time of year--even tho It's my favorite time of year mainly cause my birthday is coming up--it's like Christmas--I get really down--not thinking is probably best when I get down and stay around the house but hey I stay around the house all the time maybe it'll be different this year...little things get me our of sorts--dropping something--like I wanted another cup of coffee--my second--but I forgot to take out the grounds and it was way to black almost like it had been scorched and no matter how much cream I put in --didn't help---and just after I poured all the coffee out --I turned around at a sound--and the cat had turned over the garbage--that was in a paper sack--on the table--knocking over all the spilled coffee grounds, and accumulated week-end garbage on the floor--I was not a happy camper---little stuff can make me think in stupid ways--went into bathroom to get some aspirin reached in and came out with aspirin bottles but when with drawing my hand...other stuff came out with them and hit the floor--makes me think I need to go back to bed--at the washing machine there's always some stuff in the back of the washer I can't reach--

Fortunately one age reacts against another..

September--Started removing some of the cages in the garden--some of the peepers would not produce anymore--this is in the lower garden--which because it's farther away I didn't get to take very good care of it...weed eated a section and planted fall greens mustard--broadleaf and curly--to eat with corn bread on cold nights in front of the fireplace...collected a load of tomatoes and picked up several small gourds (miniature) a couple of odd ball peppers. and a mess of beans...at this time of year I always start thinking in terms of apples and think maybe I should ride up to Ellijey and get some good old Winesap apples their tangy sweet taste lingers in my memory..I can only think this must be the apple Eve tempted Adam with...the rain is still sowing down..the leaves all slick and shiny even tho--there's no sun...the air is heavy--I look out through the trees and the sky that I can see is light gray...the leaves wiggle and drops fall..I drink from my coffee cup a brew I never tried before-Mocha Java from Yemen--got it from Martenez out of Atlanta...mellow..I potted up some angel wing begonias that the wind had broken off--noticing my potted plants were numerous--during the summer I had potted up some extra Christmas cactus, and some others I thought worth saving--for winter bloom--so now outside the back door I have a sizable group I have to reserve places for inside...Late afternoon thunderstorms are cutting up and making all the late afternoon days uncomfortable, hot and sweaty almost like August is coming back at us... when I was down in the garden I spotted a big box turtle, the dogs were with me me and one especially loves to haul turtles around until he eventually cracks the shell--so I calmly went over and placed the turtle in an area where he couldn't be found...he draws his head inside his shell  and from inside I hear this thank you in a low whisper...Rain and fog
still hanging around gloom and doom,, not really I love days like these..Every needle of the hemlocks holds a drop-- no birds that I can see--no sound--even the wind is not stirring, my hosta's are looking bedraggled and my lavender still looks to be involved with it surroundings I brake some off --and take a smell and glad I've got it

Isia isabella (Wooly Bear)

Hurrying along like a caterpillar in the fall-- looking for the last cozy corner in which to curl up for the winter months...

I'm growing it--Two first class herb books: Henry Beston's Herbs and the Earth and the Book of Herb Cookery by Irene Botsford Hoffmann...

A bluejay hanging around the feeder--waiting for me to hustle out and do my thing with feed--complete monogamy appears to exist among the jays; once together they stay that way for life...all other birds are against him--increase is slow with all this outside pressure--but what a sight--the blue the white the black..I'm always impressed when I honored to see him--or her--the topnotch I mustn't forget...it'slike having sunshine 

September even tho it is my birthday month has always caused a certain uneasiness--something and it's hard to explain... a freedom, wishful thinking...I grow tense--I worry--can I do anything about it--I don't even know what it is--I just feel like something is about to happen--is it the thought that I was going to have to go back to school..being confined--imprisoned more likely--

I know how a priest must feel having won my soul from torment...a new door has opened in the house of my understanding--in the country where I live quietly--I slowly develop sensitive surfaces--not calloused byte much contact accepting what's new and reflecting on it in my quiet times--mind in it's great moments returns to the primitive and instinctive...am I civilized--what's that clamoring in my blood--wildness--it's like having a ray of sunshine coming through thick foliage--an awakening...have I caught myself unaware--then all at once, like a picture in a puzzle--I see myself plainly...it was wonderful , the perfection with which my mind had concealed myself for so long..silence is almost painful...but being alone i had to follow my own injunction of silence...in this quiet country--religious ferment comes calling...every once and a while--I venture into heaven and/or hell..I've smelled the smoke--but all my hell's have been a elusive..so in fact elusive that there are no boundaries--and finding out whether you're in it or not is hard to fathom..."The trouble with hell is we shall not know it when we arrive." Swedenborg--if a man has to be scared into religion his religion isn't very much...my true nature found the animal in me--my human nature loves conclusiveness: nothing short of the categorical will satisfy me... 

During certain seasons of the year, the scent given off by the copperhead, is so strong in the woods that it can be detected easily by the human nose...(page 30 The Lost Woods) Edwin Way Teale

these little buggers hang on the outside edge of evergreens-- love arborvitae and Leylandi Cypress  I've had to remove many cause at one time this plant was used for screening things out--or was hiding things people didn't want seen--grows fast and if not kept trimmed the winds when blowing strongly would blow them over--trimming added more roots and the plant held up better against strong winds...

Night -- In the real Dark of Night of the Soul it is Always three o'clock in the Morning---F Scott Fitzgerald---The Crackup

Another late night--staying awake is not problem--keeping my brain rom it's normal stirring is a hard thing to do--thinking about a woman--and I 'm 71 years old--come now--where are your thoughts leading--at my age what should I be thinking about--is there a subject--one that can keep the mind in bounds--I was surprised at myself--feeling the way I do--is there no relief--from this man-woman thing--actually I was going over some pictures of groups and she stood out beyond my imagination--thinking of her smile--I connected--in my heart--of course there were all kinds of questions--and i sank down on my knees and thanked heaven for letting me know one we such as this I'd missed when young--but of course--she had been involved with another--and their parting happened to cause an innerness I hadn't reckoned on--does one ever--the dead have there time --the living can't be jealous of the dead--right--wrong--I sure whoever he was would want her to get out of this way of thinking and get back to the living one which could give her other thoughts of living the good life--or do I sound selfish--greedy--times--all I can say I alive and waiting for the times when I'll have my opportunity--or will I--impatient--no not exactly--just wanting to get her out of grief--watching her go through it--is torture in itself--feeling for her like I've never felt before--is causing me a concern I was not ready for...strange--age hasn't helped me get over--the petty thoughts--when so much is at stake for her...working with her on the internet the way we're doing is a hindrance--that also is getting to her--so--I don't know how it can work itself out--in should I say our favor--better say just mine--she's along way from coming around to me--complications in sadness are way beyond what I a see or think of this close to my own demise--I can't sit around and think of someone else's who's not around and the concern I have is getting to me---she's asked me not to write to her--as much--so she can grieve and get some things done--as if I had no feelings in the matter--her being my only concern--to watch something I thought as a flower in bloom--wilting--before my very eyes--her green light was on tonight--as if I didn't know it--but the e-mail I had gotten earlier again asked me not to write her so much--just not being able to reach out--and try to get her to open up in a way I know would help--is seeming like an impossible task--she want get out of grief--am I rushing her--maybe--the wave of help in me has it's slow course--for me to bare...

Hunting Ginseng I always look on the north slope--under a maple tree...

It's amazing what parents can forgive

Mankind needs all kinds of people...

Natural selection took the genetic endowment  of human beings and compounded it...

Culture is a powerful means for controlling human environment exactly because it is not biologically inherited...

No miracle happens without a witness…

Competition and strife are not the only laws of life...

Make a place in your backyard where you can take a blanket--maybe take some refreshments--and depending on the weather whatever it takes to make you stay as long as it "needs" be--and enjoy a night under the stars--this means something from my past--I lived right up the street from Atlanta's Night under the stars--at Chastian Park--I loved the golf course too…air at night should cost extra--stars are the real ones no acting involved--the scene--one on one or to each his own--what people put each other through..

Watching the last embers in the fireplace,,I sit eating an orange,and sipping my hot chocolate---Something about winter fires brings to mind all the intimate thoughts I've ever had--thoughts that I would never have had; come into the open when I sit in front of a open fire--outside the circle of the fire warmth is only within certain limits and if you're to far away--cold creeps in --you feel it and start getting closer to the fire--seeking it's comfort and warmth again--words spoken around the fire side are usually far and few between--but they mean so much more and their significance moves into different channels and it seems like you've never covered them before--these discussions become intimate and they seem to loosen our tongues toward mellow moods--letting us know the person with us even better than we thought possible--we become better acquainted with ourselves and with those we're conversing with..a sort of give and take--no holding back--the depths reached are liberating and give us pleasures we don't often feel with those we love and appreciate--especially when we realize that they to are giving of themselves--and we come to an understanding we both feel...

Night

The night is spiritual; how it hides all things secular, how it blots out the common and the wearisome, how it nourishes our sense of mystery, and the profound. It adds the transcendental, the immeasurable, to our world. It uncovers the heavens, they have a new meaning when we have walked under them at night. I would not forget the debt we owe to the day; life itself, and all that sustains it, light and warmth, cloud and sun, brought us here and keep us here. The gifts of the night are less tangible; the night does not come with fruit and flowers, and bread and meat; it comes with stars and star-dust, with mystery and nirvana....William Burroughs

The night has a thousand
       eyes,
   The day but one;
Yet the light of the bright
       world dies
    with the setting sun... F. W. Bourdillon -- Light


Making night hideous
      Shakespeare---Hamlet.  Act I. Sc . 4

An he began to see as truth-- things that could only be guessed at...

But for him, now, all history was filled with sunlight, every hollow was filled with rain .He was governed only by the elements...

They had trusted him because of his severity because he was incorruptible...

She was picking up intricacies of what was around them...

In the last few years he had found the hidden histories, intentionally lost, that altered the perspective and knowledge of earlier times ...It was how one hid or wrote the truth when it was necessary to lie...

They were early risers and early sleepers, aligned to the sun and moon...

All you want when you're a kid is certainty....

He was not an easily liked man, he had lost charm somewhere in his youth...

It was a strange self-knowledge for someone who had always been humble in his assumptions...

Law of the Universe---that what you think in your mind you will produce in your experience...

Righteousness means, not merely right conduct, but right thinking on all subjects in every department of life…

Striking Eyes as if they were the windows of his soul, their blinds were constantly down…

Everything can be obscured by something--

The night has a thousand
                eyes
the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright
    world dies
With the dying sun.F.W. Bourdillon--Light

Night's black Mantle covers all alike.  Du Bartas