Women--Woman-- "What won't men drag their women into" "What Haven't men drug their women through" Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday...

Here's one for you--met the most wonderful person--I can't say more at the moment because it will ruin my end of it--oh yes we met on the internet--meant nothing to me cause I'm just a thinker which if you think about in the good old days just means like a tinker--it just so happens I was feeling blue one day and I happen to be looking around the internet--and who do I spy--but a girl I knew in high school--several years younger--I might add--but hey I'm no cradle robber--wouldn't be interested--really--well got to meeting several times--not in person--on the internet--so we get back in touch--things march right along--me being in the country--her being in the city--well as it went I went and fell for the lady--hook line and sinker--it's not like I fell out of my chair or anything because as I said we were a good distance apart--and at first I was in no rush--then I really got to thinking about her and wanted to be a part in her life--no I'm not one to be jumping a up and down with glee

but I am one for putting my feelings out on the line as quick as I can-- to get things done--talk about scaring her--all my thoughts don't really know what happened--but evidently she had just had some kind of God for a friendship--because at the time we talked she let on she was grieving--hey I respect that--but not for months--I alive and here--so I wanted to be like this guy you know take his place--now don't get me wrong--sex is a part of life but for me I thought it was dead and gone--so I wasn't not thinking in those terms--no way Jose--I wanted to be the next star in the ointment--that led to her leaving the grief--but boy the guy must have been the golden eagle--cause I never did reach any where near the summit--I like went to the mountain top and yelled "I love you" but there wasn't an echo--still grieving--so I decided to play a conservative hand--lay low and wait--we were communicating via-this thing you write on --back and forth--occasionally I would go back and re-read the communications--wouldn't to bad--of course bleeding hearts was like a dog sniffing out a bone--no sense--just trying to reach out to her any way I could come with but out in the country where the birds and bees roam--it not to inspirational to making woo pee--I mean you look out your window and what do you see "God's Country" and I'm writing a woman who lives in voo doo land--

where every word spoken leads you further and further away from reality--tell you the truth-- I was way over my head in dodo and couldn't find my way back with a seeing eye dog leading me out--love bit--now see I haven't even seen this girl--and I couldn't sell her my soul-- no matter what I tried to do--it just wouldn't take--and here I am pouring my soul out to where I didn't know whether I was coming or going--about this time she started questioning me-about what all kinds of personal--stuff--which I hadn't even thought about talking like that since I left high school--the periphery stuff not much feelings or personal stuff unless it was coming from my end of the conversation--so of course being from the country --I got to thinking I was making some headway--well all I was doing is getting in deeper dodo--like quicksand--it sucked me down --down and down--I not saying I was so over my head that I couldn't make out daylight from dark but I was feeling I might need to be resuscitated soon--but then somewhere along here the gears box fell out--don't know why but our writing seem to confuse and send her mind off on some track I had no knowledge of--there were a lot of little incidences but I'll only cover a few--not that these are picked to make look good or her bad--cause I still think of her and wish --well you know--I want go into that--one was she picked out that in something I had written i said I had a girl friend in this other town called Canton--I don't know anybody in Canton and wouldn't want to if I did--I didn't write about another woman--where that came from--who knows--then another time--she told me about on-line romances--where was this leading--she didn't want me to approach her house--without first letting her know before hand--ladies and gentlemen I from the country--I would no more contemplate doing that than I would--well I don't know what--but that would be the last thing on my mind if I respected the person I was going to see--then she started telling  more of this on-line relationships--then one time she asked me about if I had contacted an old girl friend that i was with in high school--well the paint was crumbling off the wall for me and my ego about this time--cause i was lost behind the eight ball--I had never even thought of this on-line relationship stuff--I wouldn't even thought it was that if he hadn't mentioned it--I was in "love"--but you know there's no telling what lady's from the city have to go through--not just every once and awhile but I can imagine all the time--at about this point in the relationship--I wasn't freaking out--and thinking about shooting myself or any such horrible thing but I was seeing an opening--coming into view and wondered if I should try for it--I'm not one jackass that you have to hit ver the head with a two-by four--not to sound to gruff here--but the writing was on the old out side john wall as far as I was concerned--but you know feelings have a way of alleviating--a lot of trash--and I wonder if she would ever come down from where ever she was headed--I still do--caring has a way of holding you--to the right side of the road--but I'd still rather be looking out my window at all those trees and my dogs running up and down my driveway here in the country than wondering if I could touch someone 's heart in a big fast pace city...

Well women seem to be on my mind lately--nothing should ever go fast--how does one know how slow to go--how fast is to fast --and yes I'm including that also--kind of hard to figure out when you're not on the end of receiving it--but women--as a man thinking on women--I keep wondering just how much they will keep taking from us ungrateful guys--and in a way for our society has set it up this way--I hate the role of superiority it almost makes me want to puke--I have a friend now and yes it's a she--a women in fact--whom I adore--or is that word not correct --maybe be love would be more to the point--my point--she doesn't love me yet--there has to be some physical thing for her--like holding hands--touching --I guess she never has come out and said to me --touching is all part of it--she has mentioned the eye contact thing--and looking deep into each others souls sort of--but I'm afraid for the first time in my life I don't care about all that --it's just the way I feel about her--she thinks that me coming into her life will --I guess change things--I do not want changes--I want her just the way she is--she's the kind of person that has to be involved into what you ask--to me it does not matter one iota--I just want to be around her she doesn't understand that where I'm coming from--she is the reason--what she does --me letting her do her thing--makes me complete--I tell her I want to bring her coffee in bed and she has to turn around and say she wants to bring me coffee in bed like it some turn around thing--it's not--hey--the things I want to do for her--come from my heart--it's not a part of what she can do for me--she completes me --it may sound like that means that my life is over but it's not--I have the whole rest of what is my life sharing it with one heart--she has her thing which is sharing her heart with so many others and what I do --I hope lets her do her part that much better--and one day she may come home tired and tuckered out--that's when I come into the play--I want to help her relax--I want her to be glad she's at home and let me do for her--that's me doing what I do best--the hugs and touching she needs to give I accept with an open heart--I'd love it--and I'm not talking about the sex--but hey part of it I guess--and like a man I would accept it--of course--but if it wasn't included that would be good also--at least I'd have her for that special time when she needed someone else to show her that they cared about her--like for instance--a girl friend of hers calls and wants to make plans for whatever--go--I want her to go--I want her doing she loves projects--go with the friend a friend needs help--she's great at it--go--that would make me more than proud--she's doing what she was put here for--I'm helping and taking care of what she has to leave to go do her thing--I love it that I can be there when she needs someone to look after her things--well I don't know if I explained the thing the way I feel but it feels like it because the burden I felt before has lifted somewhat--so maybe I did and if it helped women get just a little bit further ahead than where they were before reading it--then so much the better--I OWE YOU LADIES AND I'LL NEVER FORGET IT--thanks

Never the less the backcountry look never left her...She came from the sticks; there could be no mistake about that..old time religion...she , however, found ways to do exactly as she pleased...She feared hellfire but she did it just the same...

You can trust a women--except in love, maybe --because women are proud of what they know--but men are proud of what they tell...

She needed that head; a mind like hers demanded space...

No ; that was quite outside a good man's character, even allowing for the awful complicity  and loyalty among men where women are concerned...

This was no novelty to me; beauty around universities is a drawing attraction--there is always some 'female- molesting' or 'harassment' or whatever the fashionable word may be, but there is a great deal more of intellectual mauling and pawing by people who don't even know that what they are doing is seducing.. 

I am for women all the way--thinking of how man kind has done them still boggles the old gray cells-some where the road forked and man went one way and everybody else went the other--I talking about people that had humanity and kindness and all the other qualities-that have to do with the gentleness of one person to another--if you look at what man has done and I guess you better say the american male--let's see he's got us in debt up to our fannies--he's alienated us to just about everyone on earth--and you ask what--let's the American Indian, the Blackman, his one true partner--women,just about every country, known to mankind, so just how far back do we have to go to get to that fork in the road--where we see up on the road signs--Man for power road and the rest of humanity--this way road--how screwed up do we let him keep going--it does't seem like he knows how to get out of this mess he's created for us all--who's going to step up and take the lead--usually when things aren't going right--which I hope you are in agreement--we change

 

Sexual thrills are not all physical, even on the intellectual plane, it is clear that desire was, by this prolonged tickling, to bring me to an orgasm of the mind... 

Women always get the losing end of gossip

How can it be possible that women aren't the alpha of our universe--men are liars,cheats and swindlers--they steal, kill, and rob, whom ever they can--can you imagine what would have happened  if this society had been run by women--WHERE WOULD WE BE TODAY--A LOT BETTER OFF-- I ASSURE YOU...how did it not happen--why is it that women are not on top--how can it of happened the way it did--strength--is that it--power physical--then is mind not over matter--how can it of happened--I just can't understand...the mighty--

The man was laying down charm...

Women always seemed to ask that one additional question that guys never asked--the one that goes to the core of the relationship---

Why women grew arms only for sweeping and stirring and rocking children--God must have glued them on last, as an afterthought...

Some women looked like dykes when they dressed like men; others became even more feminine...

She had entered the empty room of his heart and from this night onwards his only thoughts was how to keep her there... 

There are certain intensities that men find impossible to deal with in women...

She could barely speak english…and when she bore twins; particularly twin girls, they took it as an evil omen, proof absolute the horrible contamination in those alien gentile genes…Besides,who needed more daughters? As if the world wasn't hard enough...

It is said that when indiscreet birdbanders announced their discovery that demure little house wrens commonly swap mates between the first and second of their summer broods, these wrens lost favor with many old ladies who promptly took down their nesting bode because they refused to countenance such loose behavior…Joseph Wood Krutch

I've always been willing to flatter older women, although I never had much enthusiasm for ladies wearing to much make-up, the idea they felt it was a female responsibility to be more colorful , more glittering and glamorous than God and nature had made them...

Illuminated by the light from her own spirit...

Even a frightened woman can over come her fear if she hates enough….

A woman shouldn't deprive herself of life's smaller pleasures...

She gyrated my juices in a way no other woman had ever come close to touching, and even a thick headed jackass was smart enough to know there were somethings a fellow couldn't fight...

There's something about watching a beautiful woman talk that makes me get feisty, makes me feel my oats...

You know one time I ran across this guy that went plumb cross-eyed over the way his girl smiled…

Progress is to live--one phase of healthy progression will tread the footsteps of that which precedes it...

It is not ignorance but knowledge which is the mother of wonder...

Stability, dominance and security are short-term words...

" The probability of survival of a relationship between individual humans or groups of humans increases with the extent to which that relationship is mutually satisfying"…Chauncey Leake

Our decision to get married was probably a good one at the time but people change…there's no point living with choices made by people who were different eleven years ago than they are now…"

There 's no situation you can't decide for yourself…there's no situation that you can hide from yourself..

 Life, as it were, has entrusted us with great capacities…

As for her, she went with a sort of sweet resignation to her  "fate"..

My first impression of the woman moved from liking to suspicion and back to liking again…her smile could charm a knot out of a fence post but somehow, surrounded as the smile was by a long hard jaw and a pointed nose, it didn't quite come through

For it is one of the mysterious truths about all men, that no matter how ugly we are, we can always endure looking at ourselves...

Women and their roles have always been devalued as wives and mothers--I still in shock how they let their sons and now daughters go off at the drop of the hat as stupid man draws on the family unit to satisfy his craving for more war…there's been no direct political action on how the united States is not lessoning their war effort--but continuing to force more and more young people to confront war problems all over the world--sending more and more of our young to certain death--for if we believe what we have been raised to believe--that family is sacred and that the primary role of a woman is to nurture the family--that your family is threatened and your children sent to murder and be murdered..by men who have no decency in trying to stop the happenings--but continue to grab opportunities that are only potential for more warfare--where have you gone--shouldn't you be seeking some kind of redress---It is no accident that we have mental pictures: in the 2014's events are more often brought to us by camera showing the horrors of what is really happening--the world is going to the hell in a hand basket-then if you step back and remember that Government is supposed to protect society then you demand that the state be accountable for the situation in which they have involved you..and when you find that the government is the author of these crimes that you are protesting..well is there anyone out there or up there looking out for the individuals benefit…Is it not the government thats making these decisions…do we not expect a just and moral entity and one not always heading into war at every turn threatening everyone who doesn't want to receive our  "good will " our out pouring of eastern values…crammed down their throats-- do we not need a better overseeing and installation of a new way of civilian   government thought..female resistance has always been different from that of man..they've always used traditional feminine activities to protest against the use of military force--attaching our youth and forcing them into conflicts which evidently they are not going to try and stop…should be a priority..but isn't--we are not the policemen of the world…and we need to stop it now--we got to where we are others should be given the chance also--by their own efforts--experience is the best teacher…have pity oh God on these erring men who outrage all and know not what they do…can we not see in death our own destruction…we can't keep throwing ourselves at every needy country--withdrawal of all our military, embassies and goodwill organizations should be immediate and brought home to take the responsibility of our own problems and rebuilding all  our "over abused" infrastructures…we need to clean up our own backyard and quit this thinking we can help others to better themselves by becoming like us…thank God there are differences…we need diversification

The erotic impulses can and should have some discipline: the gospel of the free expression of every impulse disperses experience like a river with no banks, its water spilled and wasted as it flows in all directions...

Knowing the history of a past in which women have been written out is a step toward understanding the potential of the future when their voices will be heard...

How do you begin to tell someone how great they are--how do you tell them to hold on to everything they hold dear--yes by God I'm even talking about your virginity--so help me--how can women let it go so easily--to some slob of a man--on the prowl--you have what we want--we shown you that from day one--can love make you so weak you forget--I've never been the kind of guy that women looked at and decided to drop all precautions and given up all just to gaze into my eyes--you know like Fabio or whatever the big gays name was--anyway--it has been on my mind lately--about why women are letting it go like it's the same way with men--getting all you want and thinking it's some great big deal--all it does is make one frustrated and thinking in terms of more the merrier--there's something the matter here..if it was supposed to be that way--why are we so different--man and woman--are you thinking how dumb this is--or can I keep talking about it ?--strange--in a little while I'm going out to my library and get some books to look over by "Karen Horney" never herd of her--well she's out there--about like

Get this straight I'm just going to put in this page stuff that has to do with men and women--some suggestions,some information that lead men and women on--there's no strategy here--I'm not after a thing--only help and observations after a life time of watching the inevitable clashing of wills where man has ruled..I'm just trying to show whomever that the playing field has never been equal--it's not now and never shall be--you may think what you will but if you have doubts--consider where you came from and how you are where you are--I'm from the south--it's like people telling me when you see a black man--don't think of him being a black man--think of him as just another human being--oh--yea--I can't honestly do that because what I see is a person that is black--standing before me--one that has struggled all his life--even tho he has been down trodden-and has given more than I'll ever know or feel--so when I see him standing before me--I have to admire all his history--and it really doesn't matter his race--what matters is he's not like me in the sense he's not white--that does come first just like when I see a women--except she comes first--because she is another person--but being a woman--she's well she's a woman--and God forgive us for treating her like dirt--under our feet--and anybody else that we may have come in contact with…America the beautiful---this what I saying may not make sense to you--but I wanted it out in the open--it's a part of me--a kindness I'm trying to bring back to the human race--we gone to far from kindness--goodness--simple things--little -big things--where the heart is king--and we know that all has events are what gives is soul--character--and these are not items that mean very much any more--and I personally think it's time to make a stand and say here is where we make it real again…truth has been led down a rotten path--and for it to become real again we have to depend on ourselves--and quit letting whatever is outside of us leading us no-where important..life is to good to be always having to go through quicksand to get where we want to go-- so this is what it's all about me trying to get a handle on something that is important to me--so what available here is things you should consider--and not use them in some sort of way to enhance your own delve to get back at others--but to enlighten you and help you understand ways and means to get back to kindness towards your fellow man..amen brother…

A man or woman never knows what they can do until they've been put to the test by necessity…

She was a woman who could put her men behind her when they let her down...

A man or woman has to cling to some inner core of faith or he our she is lost--and what is my faith connected to --solitude+++

He liked her honesty and directness but he also knew that she could be devious on occasion…

But he made a point of studying her as he would size up a business proposition…

Temporary arrangements have a way of turning into permanent ones…

It ain't what you've got below the belt that counts--it's the feelings you got to drive it with…

At another time she might have responded to his sympathy and persuasive charm but she did not want the feeling of dependence, of leaning on any man, because all of her life she had lived in a household dominated by men...

The solid thought backed by many years of thinking the right thoughts had given him --the power to stand among anyone and say what he thought--even in the midst of all the doctors at the institution where he was incarcerated after many years of saying whatever he felt--however that was not the reason he was placed there--but because he had another habit that of fondling himself while others listening to his speech--especially the ladies...

Look I don't want you to think I'm after anything except to enlighten--cause as you've probably noticed  I'm a man and things I say here are for your own good as a woman--and aren't going to help men in my manly endeavors--

I know there is a way to get women back to where they respect themselves and not base it on what men are doing --men get it-- so women should be able to get it too--is this what life is all about getting what we want and if someone else is getting something so should we--do I miss the old ways of women and what are they or were they…all I know is they have never been given the respect they were always due…men have always taken advantage of them and I know some people would say it was their own fault--I try as best I can to stay away from people who consider things in that light--no one deserves any thing or any way that's bad… life is a struggle from day one unless you've been born with a platinum spoon in your mouth--or you've been watched over by someone who was not going to let you face life disappointments…there are always going to be different shades, different ways, different thoughts, and different things going on in all walks of life---tender, sweet, kind, thoughtful, considerate, every word that you can think of that brings a moment of hesitation where you feel it--has been on the decrease for quite some time…television's showing cruelty, newspapers (yellow journalism), movies, and the way people talk, and what you can find on computers, it all takes it 's toll--what is the answer--people--us--not letting others dictate to us what we are going to see, to watch, and to do--how are we going to stop it--

She made me cautious and swiftly drowsy--thinking of her softness in bed...

We are immersed in life but our hearts have no clear vision...

But on the present occasion I was sensitively conscious of the faint, veiled hostility which had run like fine live wire between myself and her...

Perhaps I have learned that mute and stoical acceptance of the many partings in life are one of the sad endowments of old age...

"But there's one sure way of loving which is fair,
If you give and take alike, and share and share,
Never grudge each other's work, or play, or laughter,
That's a love will last through all your life--and after…
O there's just one way to love! "

Are you so modern that you give your body so lightly--don't you realize that's what all men are after --if you give in to their whims--they want be around long--or they'll sense you do it with everybody...

Mental inspiration can lead me into areas where I don't usually tread...

All alone means "all in one"

I'm getting mighty sick --of everyone thinking they know better than I do-- about what I want...

Keeping up the appearances of having all your marbles is hard work but important...

There are aspects of his character which have frequently caused coldness to arise between us...

I want you to know, and until you find it so--and impress you with this truth--that it is the inner that causes the outer, and not the outer that brings about the condition of the inner--Neither does one outer thing ever cause another outer thing--cause and effect are from the within to the without (Master Law)

Meanwhile, as long as we go on breaking the natural laws even though it be in forgetfulness, we shall continue to incur   "it's Wrath"...

Natural Law--Spiritual Law--Mental Law

Master Law--cause and effect are from the within to the without

We do not have to create anything good--it exists…windows of opportunity are always open

But do we have to give away our sons--it seems--wars, crosses, death, money struggles--we always give away our sons...

I am one of the men in this world who found my wholeness in the woman I married...

I judge a women by what she does, not by what someone else says she does...

Luck is an essential part of life…

A woman likes to hear those things...

Women take it all for granted...

They needed his kind of man and they took him as he was...

A male serves a male function--but so do all men for some woman or other...

A female serves a function--but so do all women for some man or other…

It was the thing she would have rather died than said…

When she reached up to find her Mama"s hand, it was always there to hold to…she loved the feeling; it was rest…

Never fail to see the sunset--it makes your dreams shine bright with color…it was the red she'd remember…

Old --You wake up one morning and you got it ( Moms Mabley)--a man is only as old as the woman he feels--Groucho Marx

Go into something the other day--it's called Space Junkies--it's like another world--but it's coming back at me--from the past--old music I've missed--and can't seem to get away from--it's so weird--not that I can't take it--it's like pulling teeth--I want foreach back and pull up things that are so far gone--that it scares--me--thinking back about all I missed--or didn't miss--might of been all I could take

Sounds like to much intellect and too little character...

The characteristic of the artist is discontent...

Never disturb ignorance...

A powerful conscience with no sense of humor--a dangerous combination...

Children often underestimate what their parents can grasp---

Man kind delights in mischief--always has and always will...

Subtle wits like to refresh themselves with a whiff of mild indecency...

"He was telling me about his life.."
" Yes--he must have it nicely polished up by now.."

And we don't always chose our old friends, you know sometimes we're just landed with them...

You know what terrible puritans scientist's are about their work...Just about all men need a women in one way or another, unless they're very strange indeed...

There is something honest about hearing the clods rattling down on a coffin lid--

But how do you do better when nobody believes anything very firmly...

Holding in is more demanding than crying out--

We have our own media guide--physical senses

My brain is my interpreter of all my stress...master controller--Capt. Kirk--my "displacement" (eating smoking, drinking, or exercise,) behavior observer..

Our own personal defense shield--our immune system...my major defense barrier

Experience of someone on a roll has been likened to a piece of iron glowing white on red…One may not see the fire but one knows the fire is within...

Lasting values---common ways of everyday life...

All of us are inarticulate about the deepest elements of our lives…

I can support my thrust a lot cheaper than I can my remorse…

That's what good things are for--inspiration, not envy…

The upper the leap, the downer the tumble...

Well all I can say about last night is I had a wild one--dreams where I kept getting lost--wandering around in a shopping mall looking for a certain way in or out--and I don't think I ever found it--I know I was getting frustrated though--cat stayed in room last night in an old yellow chair--Owen my son's dog he left with me  slept right by my side --I couldn't even roll over he was pushed up so close--wonder if he felt I was going through some shit--sleeping without waking up so much is the way to go--having to use the bathroom a lot doesn't help a whole but lately I haven't needed to get up like I did--started reading The Eye Never sleeps--very interesting--very simple--reading but the concepts and carrying them out h-mmmmm--how can simple be so hard--the giving up--is it I'm looking for excuses and just don't want change--so I grab at straws

Well when I started getting into this book my mind sort of clicked into an old groove--where I started remembering other books which were similar and were somewhere laying about--again I must relate I have several thousand books in no particular order except the way I shelved them--which just happened by the old stick on the shelve method--organization be damn--I pay every time I look for a book but after so many years I usually can go to the general area and fine what I need an example this is another book I thought about

I knew I had it-- where it was I don't know-- I only knew the general area but went right to it--so what's wrong with my system--well--when I'm in the area looking for that book I find other things I'm not looking for and say wow I remember that book--I better pull it and go back through it--and see if I can remember what it was about it that I liked…again at my age I do what I want to do--and sometimes it may be confusing to those around me but hey I'm here and isn't that really all that counts--old people I love it--how can any body not like grumpy people--like little comedians--with all their different habits and quirks and they've made-- reached almost to the end--looking like hell--feeling like hell--and resembling God knows what their every which way--their attitudes-- hanging out--and what problems and look what they've left in their wake--you and all the shit you're trying to carry with you--no way you could be here without what they did for you--count your blessings--problems--minor--compared to real ones...

What is moral-- what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after…Ernest Hemmingway

I'm connected to my high School Graduation class--within the last half year we've lost 6 people I'm not feeling so good every time I see a name come up--I was personally connected with them all in some minor way--not just hall occupants but on some form of friendly basis..really hurts in not  physical way but one where you wish something that maybe you had seen them or something before they went--all these folks were with me when we were young in our forming years--death--I don't know-- it's hard to come to grips with as the world just seems to go on and it doesn't matter that someone close to you passed--hard to accept…My mind doesn't go back to each individual action that I was involved with each person--it just seems to linger--or it seems to be in suspension--as if stuck back in time and searching where we parted and possibly why?--we didn't ever communicate after high school--so why am I wondering about them now who knows--

Sleep comes and it goes--sometimes I just can't go back to sleep--laying there I feel time wasting away--it can be 1:00 or 3:30 in the morning but sleep just doesn't seem like what I want to do--shopping at that time at Wal-Mart is a dream come true--it's almost like all the stock people are working just to make you happy--they're a little groggy--but what ever your question is it gets taken care of slowly of course because most of the folks are older than your are--Everything I do now almost has to be in slow motion--I use a cane--I can last much longer and go further with my cane--if I start out just trying to make do without the cane my day becomes a lot shorter as far as my movement and tiredness is concerned--

We came to the door of our room. I opened it, turned on the light with one hand, helped her to the edge of the bed, and looked at her intently.. Her hands and face were clean, her white hair was almost the way she liked it, there was not in her eyes that special expression the faint disquieting glitter I had come to recognize as a danger signal. It would be safe to leave her. She looked only very old and tired and sad. This was not going to be one of her bad days….

this page is not one I like to come too--it's sort of a blind spot whenever I look at it--you know like see something but I don't--like it's really not here in front of me--I think I started it when I was in some kind of shock after my wife died--I put my computer in a southern exposure--on the front porch--I have a porch with all windows--it gets a little cold in the winter because I out here a lot--bought me a small heater to keep my feet warm does real nice job--the only problem is when the sun comes out boy right in my eyes--I put up some craft paper the kind that's different colors--but I've blocked my outside views--if I wait for the sun to not be in my eyes I usually forget what I want to write--so I'm going to change things around a bit today--I got this helper who does what I want him to--so I hope all goes well--and I'm hoping he comes today--well see…

Watching out my window I have these dogs one is supposed to be a German shepherd and the other is a Boxer--they're wondering up and down the driveway--they start the other dog in the lead but soon the boxer being faster goes a head--the boxer is outside under the boxwoods burying an old dead snake--she want let the German sheep.. get near her prize--

Listen more often to things rather than beings…

well I can say I'm not in tip -top shape--I feel sluggish--out of sorts and headachy--I was looking for a book yesterday--one that was meaningful to someone I cared for--and I knew I'd misplaced it--so I started the looking process--and was it never ending--I mean like I looked for two or maybe even three days--searching--digging in boxes--under boxes--moving things around that hadn't been moved in several months--I kid you not--of course--I found things that I had to take back inside with me which when I got my little basket full--I had to make a special trip--so back and forth--I trudged--and this morning was hell--sore--legs--back --and arms--getting old--can it be enjoyable--if I don't move--just sort of vegetate --I feel like I can make it--laying down after a while I get sort of achy and have to get up cause one or two spots are complaining--and become uncomfortable--

Selfish desire is the strongest of all the obstacles one encounters...

Depression is a passing " state of mind " in which the worst is inevitable…

There is no virtue in endurance…

Talent is always conscious of its own abundance and does not object to sharing…

I get into feeding the dogs--I use dried food plus rotisserie chicken mixed--a little hamburger--and some oatmeal--even throw in some bacon grease about a tablespoonful when it's available--I have to cut the meat up in little bitty pieces or they'll just eat the meat and levee the other food but most of the time there's nothing left--unless I left the bowls outside and slugs have crawled all over and in them--so now I bring the bowls inside at night--where the slugs don't get to them--I use pork chops in their food also so they don't feel like they're getting the same thing

Every ache is the one big one that's going to carry you outta here--but then you wake up or you realize you still functioning--and you're going to have to keep doing what you are doing a little longer--yesterday I was for packing it in--just about ready to kick off--or push off into the dark void--but something happened and here I be--the morning came into focus, the clatter of other people moving around and my daughter brought me my coffee in bed--and I decided to get up or I was going to pee i the bed--got up and fixed my hearing aide--another battery--put on my everyday shorts and meandered into the kitchen--got me a bowl of sugar puffs--and counted how many batteries I had before i had to buy some more..really an exciting start to my day…grand style--

  
A friend got in touch with me after I'd written him and he said he was taking his grandkids to Dolly World--and I got to thinking about my grandkids--not especially in the right way but thinking about them--I don't know if I've ever carried them anywhere--probably not because--we're so different--the families and I are--I live out in the middle of no-where and they live in areas where they live best I guess--anyway its the way it is and so--I'm where I am ..end of story trying to make up for all the things  I think I did't do-- not exactly the thing for an old man to be thinking about--selfish--don't think so but maybe a sorry way to look at myself--cutting myself down at this late date--is a horrible way to get the day started--going right back to the way my day ended the other day--

Trust is a simple either you do or you don't--and then when you question someone about how can you trust them when they don't do what you want them to do because you thought it was what they wanted--or even worse when they don't do what they say they were going to do----well what of it--it's just another where in todays time people don't do a lot of things they say they are going to do--what are you some kind of spoiled brat--always wanting your way--poor baby--not getting what he wants...it's not that exactly it's when you say something you're going to do--don't say something you're going to do and not do it--it's the first in roads of destroying trust with someone you've sort of made a bargain with...and then when you don't do what you say you're going to do--there's an under currant created that causes cracks in a relationship and if you don't correct it in a way which both parties agree to-- there will be some sadness brought about--that could cause the relationship to dissolve...in a way which could cause--problems for both of the parties involved...and why do it that way anyway--if the relationship is going sour get out of it--even if it brings about hardships --it is still not worth having to lie about things even if they are minor--because eventually the problems will grow all out of proportion and then there will be a bigger mess than if you had got out of it in the first place instead of having to keep lying....and feeling guilty--which will happen...even before the threats and accusations start...the first sign of distrust is usually the time to get out of a relationship no matter what it's about--no excuses--sounds sort of mean--but when the ugly head of distrust rears up there are no two ways about it--one thing was expected and another took place--this leaves room for doubt--when there's doubt--there is no relationship--if you can't stand on solid ground in a relationship with all four feet on terra firm-a you are asking for trouble--cause some wool has been pulled over someone's eyes...you have to reach into someone soul in a relationship in today's time cause there is so much going down and up--that can be no leeway for misinterpretations if there is any doubt the relationship isn't what it is supposed to be...

Baseball Pitchers--a little thought--baseball Players how about a little "due" respect and thought--for the Pitchers

No matter how much instruction you give to anyone in baseball or life, it rarely suffices and you always windup worrying about how much of it is sinking in and how much is being forgotten…

 To combat both thee problems, this prepared comprehensive tip sheet for each position for early winter consideration…This gives them plenty of time to think baseball and study what they will need to be facing in spring…

1.) Since pitching is considered about 85 % of the game, take pride in being the key man on the team…

2.) All players should remember this statement--and do whatever it takes to let their pitchers rest between innings (as Much as Possible) respect others their (positions) 

3.) Walk briskly to and from the mound but don't run..

4.) Go to the mound determined to pitch a shutout…

5.) Control is your most important weapon, (control) and remember that your legs and stamina have a lot to do with your control…

6.) Keep your pivot foot in contact with the rubber while taking the sign from the catcher…

7.) Hide the ball and your wrist with your glove…

8.) Since the secret of hitting is timing , your main task is to upset the batter's timing--keeping him guessing, keeping him off balance…

9.) Pick up your target before starting your windup, mentally focusing on it, not letting it go out of your mind's eye, then and only then begin your wind-up with body and legs going forward…

10.) Have a purpose for every pitch--if it doesn't work--you'll have the experience of knowing why not…

11.) Get ahead of each and every batter..

12.) Point your front foot directly towards target…

13.) Throw to the catcher's knees and shoulders, both high and low, inside and outside and down the middle--pin point these locations, in practice so game time--is just practice with a batter…

14.) Go for the outside corner against a batter who steps away from the plate-- a concentrated catcher can be your best friend…

15.) Pitch tight and hard to a batter who strides toward the plate…

16.) Pitch high and hard to a batter who drops his rear shoulder..

17.) Pitch high and hard to a long strider and mix in a change of pace…

18.) Don't throw a change up to a weak hitter,  alate swinger or a non- strider…

19.) With men on base keep pitches low…

20.) Don't fool around with a weak hitter, make him hit hard strikes not in the zone

21.) When you need a strikeout and can afford to waste a pitch, throw a 90% fast pitch for a ball, then come back with your best fastball…

22.) In a tight spot, come in with your best "control" pitch…

23.) If one pitch is working and another is not --merely "show" the hitter by keeping it away--the one by keeping it away--the one not working and concentrate on the one that is working…

24.) With a runner on base mix up your "looks" at him to prevent him from reading your intentions and timing your delivery--have 1st baseman keep him close with words--like hey-- he's thinking about  going or, he's a little to far (Make the runner anxious) get third basemen to give you a signal when he's to far off base…

25.) If you want to use a wind-up with a runner on third base…

26.) Make sure to back up throws on the lead runner…

27.) In Backing up, get about 40feet behind the base, If you get to close to the baseman, a bad throw can get by you just as easily as it can the baseman...

28.) On any ball hit to your left, head for first base to cover it if necessary... 

29.) When taking a throw from the first basemen , touch the base with your right foot and stay inside the bag…

30.) With men on base, cover home plate on all passed balls or wide throws to the catcher…

31.) With a runner on third on third, cover home on a foul fly ball being chased by the catcher…

32.) When covering home, set up on the first base side of the plate in order to protect your back and pitching arm--though this is tough to do on a passed ball…

33.) With runners on first and second and a bunt is a possibility cover the third base line…

34.) If fielding a ball concentrate on watching it right into the glove…

35.) In moving for a grounder, field it as the foot on the glove hand side hits the ground…

36.) After fielding a ball close tom the first baseman, make sure to give hims clear view of the ball as you toss it underhand to him (pull your glove back out of the way)

37.) Make certain you low who will cover second in a force situation should the ball be hit to you…

38.) Don't pitch to the batter while the shortstop or second baseman is moving toward the bag…

39.) Step back off the mound with your back foot when ever a runner is bothering you or starts to steal…

40.) If you lapse into a wild streak, don't ease up and start aiming the ball, pitch in a normal fashion until control returns

41.) Keep all change of paces low…

42.) Wear a three quarter or long-sleeved sweatshirt or a cotton liner whenever you pitch…

43.) Loosen up and do some stretching before warming up to pitch…

44.) Make sure there's a home plate a simulated plate whenever you warm up or pitch..

45.) Do some throwing from the stretch position every time you warm up…

46.) Don't throw too many hard ones while warming up--fifteen fast balls should suffice, unless you're wild and require some extra pitches to get timing down or into your grove…

47.) While warming up, throw in the same direction as you will be pitching in the game…

48.) The first few days of practice are a good time to play catch bare handed--this will prevent you from throwing to hard and will toughen your hands…

49.) Don't pitch or do any throwing when you have a sore arm…

50.) Remember you're the boss out there on the mound…

51.) If you don't feel right talk to the pitching coach…

52.) Remember, keeping the ball down consistently generally means the difference between winning and losing… Remember also--there are four infielders plus yourself, and more ground balls are hit off the low ball… the home run is hit more often off the high ball…

Extras--

53.) When picking off a man on second--(timing) get the second baseman or short stop--1001--1002-1003 spin and turn and throw--coordination between you two will work out with practice

54.) 

Batters--are getting to where they are guessing to much--they stand there and swing at whatever comes across the plate--not waiting on there pitch that will come--and be right where they want it…swinging at the first pitch because they think it's going to be a fast ball right down the middle cause they think the pitcher isn't smart like they are--a good example Freddy Freeman (Braves)--is he in for a shock which he is already feeling --but one other thing he's done--he got the whole team doing it--wrong--learn the pitchers--watch them--through their whole sequence--they only have so many pitches--don't guess start learning what the pitcher throws in certain situations and be waiting on it--the guessing technique--like Justin uptown and his brother and even better Dan Uggla--what a joke--He lived on his strength and trying to out guess the pitcher--who was in control of him the whole time unless he got caught up in trying to strike him out--mistakes on the pitchers part is what kept Uggla in the game of baseball--nice guy--I wonder--The Upton brothers--Justin tremendous power but weak in the sense that he going for the fences all the time--instead of just getting wood on the ball--with his power he only has to watch 

Evan Gattis to see what power can do in baseball---even Gattis has his problems though--mainly "over reacting"to every pitch--another guesser--not paying attention--to what the pitcher--has in store for him-

a pitcher can only have so much--he's guessing he can strike you out or get you to hit a ground ball--or fly out--to do each one of those he's only got a certain amount of pitches--he's seen the scouting reports and knows your suspected weaknesses--he knows more about you than you know about yourself he thinks--so this is where you come in waiting on your pitch--the pitcher is not going to throw you the same pitch every time unless that's your weakness--all teams play to long term percentages--that's money in the bank--that's games won in the book---that's success for the whole operation--top to bottom--the only way to find out about pitchers is to spend as much time facing them---learning all the while--what they have to offer…that called baseball sense--there are nine players on a team each has his own baseball personality or characteristics which compose his baseball sense--each has his own goodies as far as batting is concerned--from top to bottom--investigating their weaknesses and compiling these weakness one can discover--facts leading to why pitchers have success against your team--one can also discover what a pitcher uses against your team in times when he wants to get your players out-adjusting to this formula--you as player can be waiting…as a Coach on the bench you can advise your players of the situations when he should expect what's coming…I don't see that in any organization as of this date--when players are on the sidelines--they are not involved-- in there own little bullshit and looking around in the stands to see who they can see--or catch the eye of the pretty young ladies…or men…as much as they are being paid when are the owners going to start demanding that they participate in the in between innings--instead of letting them spit and throw their cups and debris all over the dugout for someone else to pick up--gross--but I'm beginning to think that the quality of athlete is as stupid as all the other athletes--you know like "Duh"--what happenings Coach--I hope not but it just looks to me like the only requisite is throw hard and be big and strong so you can hit the ball a mile--no brains--just having a good time---and see how much money you can make on your next trade--all is O.K.--that's the way America is becoming anyway--so have at it--baseball used to be a good all around sport--now it's so full of blow hards and money--that everybody involved--is only out for themselves--All of which makes a sorry state of affairs even sorrier…each player in all the leagues is playing it fast and lose--one step at a time--so now every player is has to improvise as they go along--what they've come up with is a salable product--for T.V.--but their soul has been sold and the original game of baseball has lost a lot of it's integrity--there is no way to resurrect the original scheme…some things just shouldn't be bothered with…